How much frustration comes from trying to control things that were never ours to control?
Author and business leader Tori DaCosta joins Bridget Ann Stuart to explore the framework at the heart of her book, No Name Bastard: How Our Lives Teach Us What We Can Control, Manage, and Influence. Tori breaks it down simply. We control our actions and words. We manage our emotions and mindset. We influence other people and our environments.
Tori also challenges the idea of work life balance, explains why success and money do not erase insecurity, and shares how an emotional or cognitive "flinch" can quietly affect decisions, relationships, and leadership. From learning to pause before reacting to questioning the stories and assumptions we carry, she offers a way to recognize what belongs to us, take ownership of it, and respond differently when life gets difficult.
Episode Highlights
What we can control, manage, and influence
Why another person always falls into the category of influence
Why trying to achieve work life balance can create unnecessary pressure
Tori's approach to work life collaboration
Why every yes to something means a no to something else
How success and money can leave underlying insecurity untouched
Recognizing the emotional and cognitive "flinch" that keeps us from moving forward
Asking whether something is actually true or simply our perspective
Why identifying an emotion is necessary before we can manage it
The power of assuming positive intent when the facts are unclear
How a seven second pause can prevent a response we later regret
Why silence and delayed responses can lead to better communication
How cultural conditioning shaped Tori's early beliefs about women and ambition
Giving yourself permission to pursue meaningful goals
How Tori wrote her first book while completing an Executive MBA, working full time, raising a family, and training for her first marathon
Why consistency matters even when motivation is missing
How doing hard things builds discipline and resilience
Why growth in one part of life can positively affect every other part
Book Mentioned
No Name Bastard: How Our Lives Teach Us What We Can Control, Manage, and Influence by Tori DaCosta
About Guest: Tori DaCosta
Tori DaCosta is an author, entrepreneur, business leader, speaker, and founder of Journey Stone. Her work focuses on self leadership, ownership, mindset, resilience, and helping people better understand how their experiences influence the way they think, lead, and make decisions.
Her first book, No Name Bastard: How Our Lives Teach Us What We Can Control, Manage, and Influence, was published March 3, 2026. Tori wrote the book while completing an Executive MBA, working full time, raising a family, and training for her first marathon.
Connect with Tori DaCosta
Facebook
@toridacostaleadership
Instagram
@toridacostaleadership
LinkedIn
@toridacostaleadership
About Bridget Ann Stuart
Bridget Ann Stuart is a REALTOR®, Executive Strategic Performance Coach, and host of The Inner Estate. Since beginning her real estate career in 1998, Bridget has worked across luxury real estate, business growth, leadership, performance, and personal development.
Through Strategic Performance Coaching, Bridget helps entrepreneurs, real estate professionals, executives, and business owners create greater clarity, strengthen their performance, and build businesses and lives that reflect what matters most to them.
Connect with Bridget:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheRealBridgetStuart/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealbridgetstuart/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheRealBridgetStuart\
