Ending an affair with a married man usually gets framed as a decision about him. When he'll finally choose you. When he'll give you 100%. When you'll be done waiting. This episode is about the part nobody names: the day you get fed up with yourself.
The idea came from a call with a client. I could hear the love she has for him tangled up with the disappointment she has in herself, and I told her what I wish someone had told me sooner. You just need to get fed up with yourself. Fed up with being anxious. Fed up with waiting by the phone. Fed up with skipping out on your own life for a man who won't fully show up in his.
I walk through the day I ended my own relationship, which I hadn't planned and didn't see coming. I talk about the bar he raised so high he couldn't meet it, the slow burn you don't realize is a burn until you're already in love, and the exact moment being the other woman stopped being worth it to me. Not because of him. Because of who I was becoming while I waited.
If you're in it right now, this is what fed up with yourself actually sounds like, and why it's the signal that makes walking away possible.
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