What if some of the patterns you're struggling with in your relationship didn't actually start with you?
In this episode, I sit down with Owen Smithyman, who practices Peak States Therapy, to explore how trauma, generational patterns, and deeply ingrained associations can influence the way we show up in our relationships—even when we can't identify an obvious reason for why we feel anxious, insecure, or stuck.
We talk about how our past experiences can become a kind of blueprint for what feels familiar and safe, and how those patterns can show up in our romantic relationships through over-giving, self-sacrifice, conflict, insecurity, or even self-sabotage. Owen explains how his approach works with what he describes as associational and generational trauma, and how working with those underlying responses can sometimes create more harmony and connection—or help someone gain clarity that a relationship isn't right for them.
This conversation explores:
✨ How childhood and generational experiences can influence the way we navigate relationships
✨ Why you can struggle internally even when your life looks “great” from the outside
✨ The connection between trauma, nervous-system responses, and relationship triggers
✨ Why we sometimes repeat familiar relationship dynamics without realizing it
✨ How self-sacrifice and difficulty prioritizing yourself can be connected to inherited patterns
✨ Why healing your own triggers can help you see your relationship more clearly
✨ How doing deeper internal work can lead to either more connection or the realization that it's time to leave
✨ Why having trauma or adversity doesn't mean you're broken
Connect with Owen Smithyman:
Website: Optimize Consciousness
Instagram: @optimizeconsciousness
🎁 Free Gift: Free Guided Processes from Owen
His free resources include guided processes designed to help with things like resistance to positive change, self-sabotage, insecurity, and projection.
Connect with Francesca:
❤️ Download your free “Should I Stay or Leave” Guide
🦋 Join the Reclaiming Love Community
📷 Instagram: Love with Francesca
✨ Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast. Your support helps keep these conversations alive!
