What happens when you discover ADHD at 77 and then have two years to understand what it has meant throughout your life?
In this special episode of Grandma Has ADHD, Jami Shapiro sits down with a very important guest: her mom, Vicki Armel, the original “Grandma” behind the podcast.
Vicki’s late ADHD discovery helped Jami see decades of clutter, disorganization, anxiety, memory struggles, and family tension through a completely different lens. It ultimately became part of the inspiration for this podcast, Jami’s ADHD coaching work, and her book, This Explains So Much.
Now, Vicki looks back at what has changed since learning she has ADHD and what she understands about herself differently today.
Clutter, Memories & Letting Go
For years, clutter was a major source of tension between Jami and her mom. Jami once believed Vicki’s piles and difficulty letting go might be hoarding disorder. Understanding ADHD gave them another way to look at what was happening.
Vicki shares how she’s become less embarrassed about her home and more thoughtful about why she keeps certain things. She talks about finally letting go of her mother’s china after realizing something important: the plates themselves weren’t what made her feel connected to her mom.
That shift has helped her begin separating the memory from the object.
“Oh, That’s ADHD Too?”
Since discovering ADHD, Vicki has continued reading and learning about it—and keeps recognizing pieces of herself.
Things she once worried about or judged herself for now have context. Even forgetting a word feels different. Instead of immediately worrying about her memory, she can recognize what’s happening, laugh about it, and move on.
As Vicki puts it, understanding what’s going on makes it much easier to handle.
More Grace for Each Other
Perhaps the biggest change has happened between mother and daughter.
Understanding ADHD hasn’t made every frustration disappear. Jami and Vicki still annoy each other sometimes. But after decades of misunderstanding certain behaviors, they now have language for what’s happening.
Jami says there is “more forgiveness for each other” and “more grace.”
That may be one of the greatest gifts of a late ADHD discovery: not changing who you are, but finally understanding yourself, and the people you love, a little better.
Vicki’s Message to Other Older Women
If you’re discovering ADHD at 50, 60, 70, or beyond, Vicki wants you to know it may not be as scary as it sounds.
There are things she struggles with because of ADHD, but there are also things she believes she can do because of the way her brain works.
And after more than seven decades without an explanation, she’s learning to accept those differences instead of worrying about them.
Because as Jami says, it really never is too late.
About Jami
Jami Shapiro is an ADHD coach, speaker, author, and founder of Silver Linings Transitions. Through Grandma Has ADHD, she shares honest conversations about ADHD, aging, late diagnosis, relationships, and finally understanding the way your brain works.
Connect with Jami
Thank you for joining us for this episode of Grandma Has ADHD! We hope Jami's journey and insights into ADHD shed light on the unique challenges faced by older adults. Stay tuned for more episodes where we’ll explore helpful resources, share personal stories, and provide guidance for those navigating ADHD. Don’t forget to subscribe and share this podcast with friends who might benefit. Remember, Make the rest of your life the best of your life.
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