DJ should be on a cruise. Instead, he’s doing taxes because his travel companion waited until the last possible second to remember one tiny problem: there’s a warrant out for his arrest.
Then DJ and Kelly recap a VERY busy week at the movies, including One Night Only, Spider-Man: Brand New Day, Super Troopers 3 and I Want Your Sex. Which movies worked, which didn’t, and why exactly is One Night Only essentially “The Purge, but for sex”?
Elsewhere: why Dungeons & Dragons creates instant secondhand embarrassment, whether Gen Z’s declining interest in drinking and dating might have something to do with how insanely expensive it is to leave the house, DJ’s unwavering devotion to Irish Spring 5-in-1, rising electricity bills, political hypocrisy, the WNBA protest stunt, and the Lindsay Clancy trial.
Plus, on Patreon: DJ experiments with Jell-O that expired in 2022, The Last House gets absolutely demolished, and we establish the official Locked & Probably Loaded rule: listen to an entire episode before deciding whether you hate us.
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Chapters
00:00 Welcome to Locked & Probably Loaded
00:56 DJ’s Five Days of Tax Prep Hell
02:25 How DJ Earned Free Cruise Rooms
03:49 The Cruise Disaster: “Your Warrant Is Not My Responsibility”
05:23 Taco Bell, Below Deck & Recovering From the Cancellation
06:44 Would DJ & Kelly Survive Dungeons & Dragons?
08:06 The Freedom — and Horror — of Being Cringe
09:45 One Night Only: The Purge, But for Sex
13:29 Spider-Man: Brand New Day
14:13 Super Troopers 3
15:41 I Want Your Sex
16:49 Why Isn’t Gen Z Having Sex?
18:52 The WNBA Protest Stunt
20:36 Why Is Electricity So Expensive?
22:35 Things Nobody Tells You About Owning a House
23:45 DJ’s Unwavering Loyalty to Irish Spring
27:29 Political Hypocrisy & Ken Paxton
32:46 Max Miller & Political Scandals
35:31 Matt Gaetz Invades DJ’s Facebook Algorithm
37:24 The Lindsay Clancy Trial
45:10 Boston, Justice & an Interesting Way to End a Podcast
46:03 Patreon, Live Happy Hours & What’s Next
PATREON BONUS
46:59 Does Jell-O Expire? DJ Finds Out
48:47 The Cruise That Never Happened
49:40 Why This Podcast Is Almost Impossible to Clip
52:31 Rage Bait & the Internet Attention Span
53:25 The Last House: What the Hell Was That?
57:13 Back to Tax Hell
58:54 The $1 Taco Bell Quesarito That Costs $1.60
Locked and Probably Loaded, DJ Qualls, Kelly Blackheart, One Night Only movie, One Night Only review, Spider-Man Brand New Day, Spider-Man Brand New Day review, Tom Holland Spider-Man, Super Troopers 3, Super Troopers 3 review, I Want Your Sex movie, I Want Your Sex review, Olivia Wilde, Gregg Araki, Cooper Hoffman, The Last House Netflix, The Last House review, new movies 2026, movie reviews 2026, comedy podcast, pop culture podcast, Lindsay Clancy trial, Lindsay Clancy, WNBA controversy, Royce White WNBA, Enes Kanter WNBA, DJ and Kelly
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