This week on Locked & Probably Loaded with DJ & Kelly, DJ has returned from Orlando with absolutely nothing left to give. He's recording from bed, the television has only barely been muted, and his social battery is officially dead.
That doesn't stop us from covering the important news, beginning with the most perfectly constructed headline imaginable: 42 kilos of fentanyl and a small alligator were found in a Los Angeles luxury apartment. This somehow leads to DJ's SAG health-insurance frustrations, the possibility that anything we've ever said on this podcast could someday be entered into evidence, and preliminary plans to flee to Costa Rica should either of us ever need to evade the law.
Things get more serious as we talk about public figures choosing whether to speak about Gaza, the distinction between governments and civilians, and why neither of us wants to become so overwhelmed by the state of the world that we stop caring about what happens to vulnerable people.
And then, because this is apparently the only podcast we know how to make, Kelly changes the subject to a professional fitness competitor who shit her pants during a Hyrox race and kept using the equipment. DJ would like to formally object to being told this story.
Finally, we get into Sydney Sweeney's latest campaign, the sexualization of female athletes, Shailene Woodley's baffling Emmys outfit and the fashion lesson everyone should take with them this week: if you need a cape to make your outfit make sense, change.
CHAPTERS
00:00 – DJ Is Broadcasting From Bed
01:30 – Orlando Killed DJ's Social Battery
02:25 – DJ Just Wanted to Be Left Alone
02:45 – Meet Danny From Germany/North Carolina
06:00 – Moving to Orlando on a Whim
06:40 – Fentanyl Bust. Small Alligator Found.
08:07 – Please Be Patient, We'll Get to the Alligator
08:44 – DJ vs. SAG Health Insurance
11:28 – “I Hate Everything. Let's Talk About Drugs.”
11:35 – 42 Kilos of Fentanyl Is Quite a Lot
12:30 – DJ Would Definitely Not Flee the Country
13:04 – This Podcast Will Absolutely Be Used Against Us
13:52 – France Is Actually DJ's Bed
14:09 – Fine, We'll Flee to Costa Rica
14:32 – DJ Is Becoming Less Afraid of Dying
17:57 – The Ed Sheeran Update
19:30 – Speaking Up When You Have a Platform
26:34 – We Need to Change Subjects
27:02 – What the Hell Is Hyrox?
27:45 – CrossFit Is Just Watching People Exercise
28:15 – There's Always a Loophole
28:43 – “You Said This Wasn't Psychologically Damaging!”
30:34 – Kelly Tries to Be Classy
30:45 – This Is the Dive Bar of Podcasts
31:07 – What Is Sydney Sweeney's Team Doing?
33:20 – Pure Spite Is Not Inspiration
34:00 – Aaron Rodgers & Shailene Woodley
34:37 – The Balenciaga Problem
36:46 – “Shailene, We Gotta Go to the Emmys”
37:23 – If Your Outfit Needs a Cape, Change
37:46 – Join Us on Patreon
38:57 – Patreon Begins
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