We pay the bills. We buy the feed. We schedule the vet. We rearrange our lives around our horses. It’s easy to start feeling like the horse should give us something back. A good ride. Good behavior. Effort. Compliance. But horses don’t think about relationships that way.
In this episode of The Thinking Horse & Rider, we’re talking about relational tension—the tension that develops when expectations, control, trust, communication, and partnership all collide. We’ll explore why “my horse should do this for me” can quietly change the way we ride, why compliance is not the same as partnership, and what happens when we stop asking whether the horse was “good” and start asking how the horse actually felt that day.
We’ll also talk about:
• Why caring for your horse does not purchase obedience
• The difference between compliance and true partnership
• Why horses need clear communication, not constant management
• How predictability builds relational trust
• Why agency, choice, and control matter to horses
• How entitlement can creep into horse training without us realizing it
• Why a “good horse” is not always a happy horse
• How to redefine trust so it doesn’t mean “my horse will never surprise me”
• What it means to listen without immediately trying to control the outcome One of the biggest questions in this episode is: Can you allow your horse to make a small choice without treating that choice as a threat to your authority?
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You can also view videos of the riding episodes or listen to all of them on YouTube under Come Ride with Me Riding Videos. My channel is https://www.youtube.com/@equusenlightened
Read blogs or find more links @ https://linktr.ee/equusenlightened
Walk to Partnership Meditation
https://assets.cdn.filesafe.space/9ckgbm3alzfPQK2HDqho/media/6aac819d867721cb57117360.mp4
Reference Articles
https://www.mdpi.com/2076-2615/11/6/1798
https://www.mdpi.com/2076-2615/11/10/2782
https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/animal-welfare/article/opportunities-for-agency-in-domestic-horses-applying-the-behavioural-domain-to-increase-equine-welfare/B79F7F53E2E15FE65DF4EEC3D078C58D
Email me at Anna@equusenlightened.com
Happy Riding!
