Many of us pride ourselves on being good people.
We strive to be helpful, responsible, accommodating, generous, and easy to love. On the surface, these qualities seem unquestionably positive. But what happens when being "good" becomes something we feel compelled to perform in order to earn love, approval, or belonging?
In this episode, therapist Anna Holtzman explores the concept of goodism—a term coined by mind-body physician Dr. John Sarno to describe the tendency to organize our identity around being good.
Drawing from both her personal life and her work with therapy clients, Anna explores how goodism can show up as perfectionism, people-pleasing, over-achieving, over-giving, and chronic self-monitoring. She also examines the hidden toll these patterns can take on our nervous systems, relationships, and physical health.
If you've ever found yourself wondering:
• Am I doing enough?
• What do other people need from me?
• Will I still be loved if I disappoint someone?
• Why do I feel so exhausted, resentful, or disconnected from myself?
...this episode is for you.
In this episode, you'll learn:
• What "goodism" is and how it differs from genuine kindness
• How people-pleasing and over-functioning can become stress responses
• Why chronic adaptation to others can keep your nervous system stuck in survival mode
• How goodism can contribute to burnout, chronic stress, and stress-related symptoms
• Why becoming the "supporting character" in your own life is so costly
• A simple practice to help you reconnect with yourself and begin stepping back into the role of main character in your own life
Reflection Questions:
• In what area of your life are you living as a supporting character rather than the main character?
• What would it look like to put yourself first today?
If this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear from you. You can reach me at anna@annaholtzman.com.
Connect with me:
Website: www.annaholtzmantherapy.com
Instagram: @anna_holtzman
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