#158: On today’s episode, Han sits down with MJ Gray, content creator and host of the Maneater podcast, as she shares her personal healing journey: discovering the power of her mind and learning how to reprogram the beliefs that had shaped her life.
After years of trying to get sober, and living through what she describes as a continuous dark night of the soul, MJ realized sobriety would require more than willpower. MJ and Han unpack manifestation, addiction, childhood trauma, people pleasing, self-love, accountability, decentering men, and why accepting the discomfort of life may be the key to finally finding peace.
The girls get into:
- the power of your mind and reprogramming deeply rooted beliefs and childhood conditioning
- Why changing your life can initially feel irrational or delusional
- How addiction and unhealthy coping mechanisms can change forms
- MJ’s spiritual awakening and relationship with manifestation
- Using meditation and mindset to create a different reality
- How the expectation to always be happy makes us unhappy
- Taking accountability for your healing without invalidating your trauma
- Moving beyond victimhood while maintaining compassion for yourself
- Letting go of guilt, jealousy, anger, and self-hatred
- Healing patterns created by narcissistic or emotionally unhealthy parents
- Breaking free from people pleasing and the need to be liked
- Learning to genuinely love yourself and embrace who you are
- How unresolved trauma can recreate familiar relationships
- Decentering men and creating fulfillment outside of relationships
& MORE!
This episode is for anyone navigating sobriety, childhood trauma, people pleasing, self-doubt, or a difficult mental health journey. It is for the woman learning how to reprogram negative beliefs.
TIMESTAMPS:
00:00:00 — Introduction
00:05:32 — Getting existential and questioning everything
00:05:44 — How sobriety led MJ to social media
00:06:18 — The desire to feel seen and understood
00:06:48 — MJ’s sobriety journey
00:07:05 — Experiencing a continuous dark night of the soul
00:09:58 — Why addiction can change forms
00:10:26 — Coping with the discomfort of being human
00:11:17 — Why expecting constant happiness makes us unhappy
00:12:26 — Childhood trauma, victimhood, and personal accountability
00:14:33 — Falling down, trying again, and releasing guilt
00:15:07 — Why guilt can create more self-hatred
00:15:41 — MJ’s spiritual awakening after getting sober
00:16:16 — Discovering meditation and spirituality
00:16:55 — Relapse and discovering the power of the mind
00:17:28 — Applying manifestation and mindset to sobriety
00:17:44 — The day MJ quit drinking and smoking
00:18:12 — Convincing herself she no longer liked alcohol
00:19:03 — Reprogramming beliefs created by a narcissistic parent
00:20:00 — Why transforming your life can feel delusional
00:20:57 — Resetting your childhood programming
00:23:25 — Does MJ care what other people think?
00:24:10 — Why people pleasing never worked
00:24:53 — Self-love, insecurity, and genuinely liking yourself
00:25:19 — Learning to water the lawn you already have
00:25:44 — Releasing the things you cannot control
00:26:07 — Why peace has to begin within you
00:27:13 — Life gets easier to carry
00:28:56 — Where your attention goes, your energy flows
00:29:17 — Moving beyond rumination and self-pity
00:29:35 — Why traumatic patterns can feel like home
00:30:04 — Taking accountability for repeated patterns
00:34:08 — Why women need to start decentering men
00:34:47 — Creating fulfillment outside of relationships
00:35:56 — Loving men without centering them
00:36:12 — The risks women face within relationships
00:36:34 — Expecting romantic partners to add value to your life
CONNECT BELOW
Follow MJ here
Follow MANEATER here
CONNECT with HAN:
follow Han here
follow HOW I SEE IT here
follow Han on Substack here
watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube here
work with Han: howhanseesit@gmail.com
