We made it, sis — the finale of our Four Agreements series. If you've walked through these with me — impeccable with your word, don't take it personally, don't make assumptions — I am so proud of you. Today we bring it all home.
And I saved my favorite for last, because this fourth agreement holds a word that means everything to me — it's literally the name of this show. The fourth agreement is: always do your best.
Not perfect. Your best. And by the end of today, I hope you feel the weight of perfection lift right off your shoulders — because chasing perfect is exactly what keeps the eating disorder alive, and your best? Your best is enough.
(New here? Go back to Parts 1–3 first — they build to this.)
This is the agreement that makes the others stick
This one comes last for a reason: it's the engine. Doing your best is what allows the other three agreements to become habits. You don't master speaking truth, releasing what others think, or dropping assumptions in a day — you do your best with them today, then again tomorrow, and slowly they become who you are.
This agreement isn't about knowing. It's about action. Because information isn't enough — doing your best is how the knowing becomes the living.
Not perfection — excellence
Doing your best is not being perfect. Perfect is a moving target that doesn't exist — and the eating disorder is obsessed with it, moving the goalposts so your best is never enough. Chasing perfect keeps the disorder alive, because perfect can never be reached, so you can never rest.
Your best is different. Your best is excellence — showing up, in alignment with your values, as fully as you can today. And here's the freeing part: your best won't always look the same. Your best in the morning is different than your best at night. Your best on a strong day is different than on a hard day. Both count. When you're exhausted, rest is your best. When you're depleted, nourishing yourself is your best. You're not failing when your best looks different — you're being human.
Your best includes rest and grace
Doing your best means rest. You'll be productive, yes — but you'll also be good to yourself and to others. The disorder's version of "your best" is grind, punish, earn, never stop. That's not your best, sis — that's self-abandonment in a productivity costume.
Real best-doing means taking action because you want to be healthy — not chasing a reward, not running from fear. It means nourishing instead of avoiding, honoring instead of punishing. And when you do your best from love instead of fear, something incredible happens: you learn to accept yourself. No judgment. No guilt. Because you know you showed up as fully as you could — and that is enough.
Your best gets better
Here's the hope: your best isn't static. As you build better habits — as the first three agreements take root — your best gets better. The woman doing her best today, scared and shaky and imperfect, is building the woman whose best a year from now is steadier, freer, stronger.
You're not behind. You're in practice. You're growing. Every time you do your best, you're not just getting through the day — you're becoming her.
From love, not obligation
If you take action because you have to — dreading it, out of pure obligation — you're better off not taking it at all. So much of what the disorder drives is have to: have to work out, have to eat clean, have to earn it. That's not doing your best — that's obeying a cage.
Your best flows from want to: I want to be healthy, I want to be free, I want to be here for my life. And you can't do your best while living in the past or the future — not while replaying yesterday or panicking about tomorrow. Your best only exists right here, right now, in this choice. That's the only place freedom lives.
All four agreements, together
Look at what we've built:
- Be impeccable with your word — stop letting the disorder write your inner voice; speak truth over yourself.
- Don't take anything personally — what others do is about them; your worth was never on the table; come out of isolation.
- Don't make assumptions — stop believing the disorder's stories and the rules you never questioned; ask for the truth.
- Always do your best — take action from love, not fear; let your best be enough, and watch it turn the other three into who you are.
Four promises to yourself — and every one takes power back from the disorder and hands it to her, the recovered you.
This is her best self
This show is called Her Best Self for a reason. Not her perfect self — that woman doesn't exist, and chasing her is what kept you sick. Her best self. The woman who shows up, does her best, rests when she needs to, nourishes instead of punishes, speaks truth, and grows a little freer every day.
Being your best is just being you. Not the shrunken you, not the performing you, not the perfect you the disorder promised would finally be enough. The real you — nourished, honored, present, growing. That woman is your best self, and she's been in there the whole time. Doing your best is simply how you let her out.
Your best is enough, sis. You are enough. You always were.
A few lines from the episode
"Chasing perfect keeps the eating disorder alive — because perfect can never be reached, so you can never rest."
"Your best won't always look the same. When you're exhausted, rest is your best."
"If you take action because you have to, you're better off not taking it at all."
"Being your best is just being you."
"Not her perfect self — that woman doesn't exist. Her best self."
"Your best is enough. You are enough. You always were."
Your work this week (and beyond)
Do your best. Today's best — whatever it looks like today. And when the voice screams that it's not enough, that it's not perfect, you remind her: "My best is enough. And I'm becoming her best self, one day at a time."
The series is complete — here's your next step
That's all four agreements, sis. Be impeccable with your word. Don't take anything personally. Don't make assumptions. Always do your best. One brave, imperfect, growing, magnificent you.
If you want someone walking beside you as you practice these and step into your best self, that's the whole heart of what I do:
Connect with Lindsey:
🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms
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Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.
Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.
*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.
