The internet is buzzing right now about Ariana Grande — her stepping back from public life, and her message asking people to stop commenting on her body. And underneath this whole conversation is something every one of us needs to hear, because it goes straight to the heart of recovery.
Today, with a whole lot of grace, we're talking about the word "healthy" — and how it can become one of the most slippery slopes in all of recovery. I'm not here to speculate about anyone's private health (that's actually part of my point). I'm here to name the lie our culture keeps selling us: that thinner automatically means healthier. Sis, it doesn't — and the science agrees with me.
The part she got so right
For years, Ariana has asked people to stop commenting on her body, recently re-sharing that message as a "loving reminder." And she's right. There's a comfortability in our culture with narrating other people's bodies, faces, and weight — and it's dangerous for everyone.
We have to stop this. Stop the "did she lose weight," stop the "is she okay, she looks so thin." You never know who's in recovery. You never know whose daughter is listening. You never know what your words land on top of.
Where the fire got lit in me
Somewhere in this conversation came the idea that an older, fuller version of a body wasn't "the healthy one." That may be completely true for any given person — only they and their care team could know.
But that exact sentence — "my old body wasn't the healthy one" — is a sentence I told myself. It's one I've heard from a hundred women in this community. And it's one of the most slippery sentences in recovery, because the eating disorder is a master at wearing the costume of wellness. It doesn't say "let's be destructive." It says "let's just be healthy, let's just be clean, let's just be disciplined."
When "healthy" is actually the disorder talking
Let me be clear, because I lived it:
- Eating very little and calling it clean
- Only eating foods with five ingredients or less and calling it healthy
- Cutting whole food groups and calling it a lifestyle
- Being so consumed by "wellness" that you can't sit at the family table, can't travel without a plan, can't be spontaneous, can't live
That is not health. That's a disorder in a wellness costume.
And the hardest part? When you're in it, you believe your own lie. For a long time I fully believed I was just "making healthy choices." It felt like virtue. It felt like discipline. That's what makes the distortion so dangerous — from the inside, it feels like truth.
The lie our culture keeps selling
We're in a moment where thinness is loudly celebrated again — and our teens, our tweens, the young women who idolize who they follow are absorbing the message that thinner automatically equals healthier and better.
The science says otherwise. In the large studies on weight and mortality, being underweight carries a significantly elevated risk of death — roughly one and a half times higher in many studies, and several times higher in some populations. Meanwhile, the category our culture panics about — "overweight" (a BMI of 25–30, without obesity) — is consistently not linked to higher mortality, and in a number of large studies is associated with slightly lower risk than "normal" weight.
Let that land. The body our culture tells you to fear is often not the dangerous one. The body our culture applauds can be hiding real danger. Thin is not a synonym for healthy. It never was.
We also don't get to pretend we see nothing
Here's the nuance, held with honesty: "stop commenting on bodies" is true — and love sometimes notices.
When people express genuine concern for someone they can see is struggling, that isn't always cruelty. Sometimes it's the same instinct that makes a mother knock on a door. The problem isn't caring — it's consuming: the speculation, the spectacle, strangers turning a real person into content.
So here's the line: we don't get to narrate, diagnose, or gossip about anyone's body. But those of us who love someone up close, in the flesh? We can gently, privately say "I love you, and I'm here." That's not commenting on a body. That's loving a person.
You are not your body
If you take one thing from today: your body is the least interesting thing about you.
You are your kindness. Your humor. Your faith. The way you love your people. The dreams only you carry. The calling on your one and only life. The fact that our whole culture talks about a brilliant artist's body instead of her art is exactly the sickness we're naming. You were never meant to be scrutinized as a body — you were meant to be known as a soul.
A few lines from the episode
"The eating disorder is a master at wearing the costume of wellness."
"That is not health. That's a disorder in a wellness costume."
"When you're in it, you believe your own lie. From the inside, the distortion feels like truth."
"Thin is not a synonym for healthy. It never was."
"The problem isn't caring — it's consuming."
"Your body is the least interesting thing about you."
Your invitation this week
One: Catch yourself before you comment on any body — anyone's, including your own. Notice it, and choose not to. Starve the habit.
Two: Question the word "healthy" every time it shows up in your head this week. Ask honestly: Is this actually health — or the disorder wearing health's clothes? Would this choice let me live my life, or does it shrink it? That one question is a powerful flashlight.
Ready to stop doing this alone?
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Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.
Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.
*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.
