Discovering infidelity can be one of the most painful experiences a couple faces. In this episode, Dr. Bill Bumberry shares practical guidance and hope for couples navigating betrayal trauma and rebuilding trust. Drawing on decades of clinical experience and the Gottman Method, Bill explains the three key phases of healing after infidelity—atonement, attunement, and attachment—and offers actionable strategies for restoring safety, connection, and commitment. Whether you're recovering from betrayal or looking to strengthen your relationship against future threats, this conversation provides valuable insight and encouragement.
• defining infidelity as betraying an agreement plus secrecy
• why social media and dating apps make hiding easier
• how friendships drift into emotional and physical affairs
• common trauma responses for the hurt partner, including hypervigilance and dysregulation
• why remorse has to become active compassion to restore safety
• using the Gottman phases of atonement, attunement, and attachment
• deciding which details help and which details harm early on
• how avoidance and negative sentiment override set the stage for disconnection
• what to consider when talking with kids at different ages
• daily connection rituals that matter most, including the first two minutes together
• loyalty as an active practice, especially when your partner is not present
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Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
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