Ep189: What To Say When Your Child Refuses School

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“I don’t want to go to school” can sound like defiance, but it’s often a doorway into what your child cannot quite name yet. I’m Dr. Beth Trammell, and I walk through the most common versions of school refusal I hear from parents, from “I just want to stay home and play Minecraft” to morning tears that make drop-off feel unbearable. Instead of jumping straight to lectures, reassurance, or panic, we slow down and use curiosity to uncover what’s underneath the words.

You’ll hear simple, real-world parenting scripts that validate emotions while keeping the boundary: you can understand the feeling without automatically removing the expectation. We talk about how not every uncomfortable feeling means something is wrong, and why rescuing a child from anxiety can bring short-term relief but reduce long-term confidence. I also share practical ideas for separation anxiety, including small comfort items, ways to check in with teachers, and how to tell the difference between missing you and something more serious.

We dig into the hidden meaning behind “school is boring” and “school is too long,” and I offer questions that reveal whether the struggle is academic, social, sensory, or emotional. Finally, we cover the red flags that warrant extra support, and when it’s time to contact a pediatrician, therapist, or school counselor. If this helps, subscribe, share it with a parent who needs better words for hard mornings, and leave a review. What phrase does your child use when something deeper is going on?

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

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