Ep 192: Making Room for Grief

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Grief can be loud, but it can also be quiet, practical, funny, angry, distracted, and all of it can still be real. I’m Dr. Beth Trammell, and I’m sharing a short, direct message for anyone trying to support a community after tragic loss. When people are hurting, especially after the death of a young person, the pressure to say the right thing and lead the right way can feel crushing. The truth is simpler and harder: our job isn’t to make grief go well, it’s to make room for it.

We talk about what grief support actually looks like day to day, including why you shouldn’t confuse a lack of visible emotion with a lack of emotion. I spend time on teen grief and bereavement, and why boys and young men may show pain through joking, irritability, shutting down, or diving back into routines. We explore practical ways to help a grieving teen feel safe without forcing a talk, like inviting them for pizza, taking a drive, shooting hoops, or just being nearby. Healing occurs when safety is present, and predictability is one of the best ways adults can build that safety.

We also get specific about what to say to someone who lost someone and what not to say. Cliches like “Everything happens for a reason” can wound more than comfort, while honest presence can steady someone for the long haul. If this resonates, share it with a parent, coach, teacher, or friend, and please subscribe and leave a review so more people can find support when grief hits.

If you or someone you know is experiencing a crisis — whether it’s suicidal thoughts, emotional distress, abuse, or another urgent situation — 988 is a free, confidential, and 24/7 resource available nationwide. Call, text or chat.

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