In this episode, I talk about why leaving a relationship built on coercive control almost never happens the way people expect it to, in one clean break that sticks the first time. I get into the departures nobody counts: the afternoons spent sitting in a parked car working up the nerve to call a lawyer or a coach, the conversations that started with "I can't do this anymore" and somehow ended with me apologizing while he sat there in tears.
I share my own experience with a partner who could turn any attempt to end things into a referendum on his feelings, and I explain why the good stretches in a relationship like this tell you what someone is capable of performing rather than what they've actually changed. I also unpack why confusion, more than fear or sadness, is often the clearest sign that something is wrong.
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
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