In this episode, I'm answering a question I get asked constantly: are they trauma bonded to me too? People ask this when the person who hurt them starts falling apart after a breakup or after being told no. The panic, the pleading, the sudden self-awareness. It can look like proof that the relationship was mutual, that maybe both people were caught in the same storm.
I will work through what is happening and how it looks the same as attachment, dependency, or the panic that comes from losing access to someone who regulates you. I'll get into what abusive people are actually bonded to, why their distress doesn't cancel out what they did, and why the question isn't whether they're hurting. It's what they do with that hurt.
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
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