i think it's called meta-cognition when you observe your internal relationships to external things... the relationship between self and object, rather than the object itself. i'm not denying the realities of oppressive systems and real harm, more like how you might be able to navigate them from a more empowered place so you can be hot & have fun in a way that makes sense to you!!! ~~ as always, please share your thoughts!
00:00 - intro
03:17 - it’s not the thing itself, it’s your relationship to the thing
04:18 - being hot & having fun
04:34 - connotative vs denotative interpretation
05:40 - how you perceive reality is specific to you
06:27 - adjust and redefine
06:51 - your identity is dynamic
07:10 - superficial change vs spiritual growth
07:32 - your personality is the sum of your habits
08:01 - performative slay
08:25 - radical acceptance
09:03 - optimising for FUN and EFFECTIVENESS
09:24 - doing a mental audit
09:48 - avoid defaulting to binary mental traps
10:09 - redefining your relationship to money
11:56 - redefining your relationship to love
12:53 - suspend your moral framework of unmet expectations = bad
14:37 - appreciating life beyond just what you can perceive
15:18 - redefining your relationship to power
15:41 - sidenote: virtuous suffering
16:28 - SPEAK TO THE MANAGER WITHIN
17:08 - the willingness to seek and create win-win dynamics
18:31 - diffuse your awareness and observe before assuming you have to double down on a position
19:32 - changing your relationship to beauty
22:39 diversify your sources of validation
22:51 - the skills to look hot vs cultivate self-respect are different
23:23 - notice and manage your human desire for silver bullet solutions
23:57 - embrace the process of trial and error to accumulate experience
24:26 - the fear of flop/failure is often worse than the flop itself
24:59 - the most sustainable and rewarding growth takes time and usually isnt glamorous
25:30 - redefining your relationship to your emotions
26:21 - associating discomfort with growth rather than failure
26:32 - redefining your relationship with your identity/identity markers
27:06 oppositional identity, “counterwill” and oppositional defiant disorder
28:05 - people will love & hate you whether you enjoy your life or not so focus on figuring out how to enjoy it
28:43 - redefining your relationship to rest
references:
patriarchy and power: how socialisation underpins abusive behaviour
Psychological drivers of gender disparities in leadership paths
what underlies a teen oppositional defiant disorder diagnosis
books (affiliate links)
The Tao of Physics by Fritijof Capra
The Road Less Travelled by M Scott Peck
all about love by bell hooks
The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf
Ways of Seeing by John Berger
