With complex trauma, we take the blame for bad things happening in our relationships. But controlling behavior isn't a character flaw. It's what a person does when their no keeps getting overridden and they've run out of other ways to get their safety and security needs met. Yes, a lot may need to change in what you say and do in your closest relationships. It's also true that we live inside societal rules that make men more entitled to do what they want and women less empowered to stand firm in their boundaries, and that shapes the strategies available to us. If controlling behavior is your go-to, this is an episode you'll want to download and listen to.

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