304. I Got "Got" — Red Flags, Narcissists & Choosing a Better Way - Turmeric and Tequila™ | Lyssna här

"A useful question to ask yourself is: how do I consistently feel after spending time with this person? That is so huge — all of your intel is right there."

— Kristen Olson

In this raw, unplanned episode of Turmeric & Tequila™, host Kristen Olson pulls back the curtain on something she rarely discusses publicly: her own dating life. After receiving unexpected news about a past situationship, Kristen shares an honest, in-real-time story about falling hard for someone despite early red flags — and what she learned about attachment styles, self-worth, and narcissistic relationship patterns along the way.

At 45, successful in business and athletics, Kristen admits relationships have always been her growth edge. She walks listeners through the instant-connection "fireworks" that pulled her in, the inconsistencies and broken promises she chose to overlook, and the moment she discovered the situation was far messier than she realized. Rather than naming names or seeking revenge, she reframes the experience as a lesson in awareness, boundaries, and grace.

The back half of the episode turns into a practical mini-guide: what narcissism actually is (versus normal narcissistic *traits*), the difference between narcissistic behavior and clinical NPD, common signs you may be dating someone with strong narcissistic traits (love bombing, gaslighting, entitlement, lack of empathy, idealize-then-devalue cycles), and healthy steps to take if you recognize the pattern — trusting behavior over promises, setting boundaries, documenting your experience, and leaning on your support system.

This episode is for anyone who's ever asked themselves, "How did a smart, grounded person like me end up here?" Kristen's answer: you're not alone, give yourself grace, and let the lesson make you wiser — not smaller.

The Deets:

- Why an instant, "fireworks" connection isn't always a green light

- Ignoring red flags because "you just care"

- Anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, and why relationships reveal parts of you therapy alone can't

- A breakdown of narcissistic traits vs. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)

- Signs you might be in a relationship with narcissistic patterns

- Practical, healthy steps if you recognize these patterns in your own relationship

- Why shady behavior in relationships impacts far more people than just the couple involved

Timestamps:

00:00 – Intro to Turmeric & Tequila

00:30– Kristen sets up today's unplanned, real-time episode

01:20 – Sponsor shoutout: Colorado Clownfish Swim School & Plantiva

01:50 – Why she's sharing this story: awareness, not revenge

03:05 – The story begins: instant connection, early red flags

05:15 – Internal conflict — staying despite inconsistencies

06:30 – Deep dive into attachment theory and dating a narcissist

08:00 – Red flags mount: flirting, hidden phones, broken plans

09:30 – A transparent (and vulnerable) conversation about intimacy

11:15 – Walking away — and how it circled back again

12:45 – The discovery: finding out the full truth

14:30 – Why cheating and dishonesty are non-negotiable values

16:20 – Cost-benefit of staying: impact on friendships and mental space

17:45 – Unpacking attachment — nervous systems, familiarity, and childhood patterns

20:00 – What is a narcissist? Traits vs. NPD, explained

21:00 – Signs you may be dating someone with narcissistic traits

22:00 – Healthy steps: boundaries, documentation, support systems, therapy

23:00 – Closing thoughts, gratitude, and sign-off

Kristen Olson: is the host of *Turmeric & Tequila*, a podcast built on gracefully disruptive conversations about business, sports, relationships, and personal growth. A strategic partnerships and sponsorships professional by trade, Kristin brings the same candor and awareness to her personal life as she does to the boardroom — sharing real, unfiltered lessons on attachment, boundaries, and becoming a better human, one honest conversation at a time. New episodes available on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube. @madonnashero

Connect with T&T:

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Host: Kristen Olson

IG: @Madonnashero

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Website: www.KOAlliance.com

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Sponsors:

Colorado Clownfish Swim School

Plantiva