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Emily Zawadzki (AKA Emily Zed) is a Canadian sex educator who specializes in supporting queer, kinky, and neurodivergent people navigating intimacy, relationships, and pleasure. She grew up in Kitchener-Waterloo, Ontario, where her formal sex education came from Catholic school abstinence lessons, graphic STI scare tactics, and a very cool mom who handed her an educational flap book about how babies are made.
In this episode we talk about building a career in sex education, why gender-affirming care isn't just for trans people, and how gender expression can show up in something as simple as hair color. Emily shares what it was like growing up Catholic while questioning her sexuality, the pressure of stereotypes about what lesbians "should" look like, and how discovering her wife's ADHD shifted her work toward supporting neurodivergent intimacy and sexuality.
Want more? Catch bonus Reddit story reactions, private chats and more on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck
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Where to find Emily:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emilyzedsexed
Website: https://emilyzedsexed.com
Emily's Webinar: https://www.emilyzedsexed.com/neuroqueer-webinar
Where to find Arielle:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/birdsandbeesdontfck
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@birdsandbeesdontfck
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck
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Episode Cheat Sheet
02:04 Purple hair babes, identity and gender expression
04:03 What gender-affirming care actually means
06:05 Why queer identities aren't "new"
08:05 Emily's path to becoming a sex educator
11:22 Switching from social work to sexuality studies
14:00 Why casual conversations normalize sex education
18:06 Arielle's early sex curiosity and Dr. Ruth influence
22:00 Producing a sex education podcast for people who hate sex ed
26:00 Catholic school abstinence education and STI scare tactics
27:17 The "cool mom" who provided real sex education
30:20 Why better sex education leads to later sexual activity
33:15 Why showing graphic STI photos to teens is harmful
36:40 Coming out as queer after growing up Catholic
38:50 Unlearning stereotypes about what lesbians "should" look like
41:20 Why labels can be empowering or limiting
45:30 Biphobia and policing identity inside queer communities
50:00 Feminism, patriarchy, and why hating men isn't the solution
55:05 Discovering ADHD in Emily's relationship
56:20 Neurodivergence, sensory play, and sexual arousal
58:12 Why partners need to do their own sex education work
59:00 Where to find Emily and upcoming neuroqueer intimacy webinar
