Somewhere right now, someone is beating themselves up over something that isn't even true. In this episode I explore how so many of us end up there.
We're all asked who we want to be when we grow up, and the answer almost always points outside us: a job, a qualification, a next step. That can be a useful north star, but it gives us nothing to check against how it actually feels.
I share my own story, from early career promotions where people told me how I must be feeling and I nodded along, to the point after the 2012 Olympics when I stopped and asked myself properly for the first time. I talk about why the recognition can feel so good, what happens when feelings that arrive from outside are withdrawn, and what changes when you ask how you want to feel instead. This approach isn't consequence free, and it isn't about giving up on achieving things. It's about creating the conditions where you don't need to beat yourself up to get there.
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