There's a dating book that makes people, especially women, furious, and after reading the whole thing I found myself agreeing with about 90% of it. It's The Value of Others by Orion Taraban, and it makes a claim most of us don't want to hear: that if you strip the emotion out of dating and look at it as a pure exchange of value, a man's value tends to rise as he ages while a woman's mating value peaks younger.
In this episode I walk through the entire model. The harbor full of captains and passengers. What men and women have actually valued across every culture we've studied. The biology underneath it that we keep pretending isn't there. And then the one place I think the book is dead wrong: the difference between mating value and dating value, and why understanding it changed how I date at 41.
I don't think any of us have this figured out. So sit with it, argue with me in your own head, and if it moved something, leave a review and tell me where you think he's right and where he's lost the plot.
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