Holding The Both/And - Steph Tupper On Grieving Her Children

In 2022, Steph Tupper's two older children, Ali and Joe, were killed in a car crash. Ali was 16 and Joe was 14. Four years later, Steph is still learning how to live with the reality of losing her children while continuing to parent her youngest daughter. 

In this episode, Steph talks openly about the devastating night she learned Ali and Joe had died, the ways she continues to feel connected to them, and the complicated process of building a life around an absence that will never go away. She shares what she has learned about community, judgment from others - and herself, parenting after loss, and allowing grief to unfold without a timeline. 

In the last four years, Steph has learned how devastating pain and great joy can coexist, and how her capacity to carry grief continues to grow.

We discuss:

• The shock of sudden loss 
• Feeling connected to Ali and Joe through signs, memories, and a sense of their presence 
• Parenting her daughter while grieving 
• The importance of community and finding other parents who have experienced child loss 
• The pressure and judgment people who are grieving can face 
• Why grief doesn't follow a timeline - and why support shouldn't either 
• Navigating anniversaries, holidays, birthdays, and back-to-school season 
• Learning to anticipate difficult seasons rather than trying to make them disappear 
• Making space for both joy and profound sadness 
• What it means to simply sit with someone's grief instead of trying to fix it 

Learn more about Dougy Center's grief education & training offerings: https://www.dougy.org/professionals-trainings