You can navigate a difficult conversation with your boss, calm down a frustrated friend, and explain exactly how you feel…so why does one sentence from your partner turn you into someone who suddenly can’t communicate at all?

Here’s the bombshell: You might not actually have a communication problem. Because the words aren’t the real problem.

In this episode, I’m joined by Brandy Buckner, M.S., LMFTA, marriage and family therapist at Growing Self, to expose what’s actually happening underneath those impossible conversations: the communication styles you inherited, the attachment reflexes that take over when you feel threatened, and the private story running through your head before you shut down or lash out.

You’ll learn:

Why great communicators completely lose each other at home

What’s really happening when one person pursues and the other shuts down

The hidden feeling underneath anger that changes the entire conversation

How to take a timeout without making your partner feel abandoned

What to tell yourself when every instinct says, Get me out of here

Why waiting for your partner to change keeps you both trapped

Because sometimes the breakthrough isn’t learning what to say. It’s finally understanding what’s happening inside both of you before anyone says a word.

And if you’re tired of having the same fight on repeat, schedule a free consultation with Brandy. She can help you change the pattern. She works with couples at Growing Self to uncover what’s happening beneath the conflict and build a relationship where you can actually hear, understand, and reach each other. Schedule a free consultation with her. 

Xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast:

Shopify —  Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs

Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠

Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs.

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