You finally got them. The person you spent months half-obsessed with turned around and made it clear they want you — and within a few weeks, you were the one going cold. Picking at small things. Looking for an exit you could've sworn you didn't want. And now you're wondering what's wrong with you, because you wanted this more than anything, and having it feels worse than wanting it did.
This is part two on fearful avoidance and limerence. Last time we looked at the two halves of us that can never seem to rest at the same time — and how limerence works for us precisely because the other person's uncertainty keeps those halves in their separate corners. This episode is about what happens when the uncertainty goes away. Why the testing starts: the pulling back to see if they notice, the going cold to see if they stay, the picking at their life and their friends. Why "just stop chasing unavailable people" almost never works for us, because it only speaks to one half. And why the person we're limerent about can only ever offer the amount of closeness we can already handle — which is exactly why it feels so right, and exactly why it so rarely goes anywhere.
If you've ever been chosen and felt the wanting switch off, this one's for you. It's not a wanting problem. It's a limit — and limits can move.
🌐 Website + free resources
https://www.youreclaimedproject.com
🔗 Q&A inbox — submit a question for a future episode
https://youreclaimedproject.com/ask/
📗 Free resources
▸ Is It Limerence? Quiz — https://youreclaimedproject.com/is-it-limerence-quiz/
▸ Attachment Style Quiz — https://youreclaimedproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/
▸ The Calm-Down Toolkit — https://youreclaimedproject.com/calm-down-toolkit/
▶️ Watch on YouTube
Part 1 — Fearful Avoidant Limerence: Your Two Halves Will Never Let You Rest
https://youtu.be/9wi9toebVWs
Around here we talk about limerence, attachment, relationships, and how real people like us build healthier love while still healing.
Disclaimer: I'm not a therapist or medical professional. The information on this podcast is for educational purposes only and is based on personal experience and research. It isn't a substitute for therapy, medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you're considering therapeutic techniques discussed here, I recommend exploring them with a licensed mental health professional. If you're in crisis or need immediate support, contact local emergency services or a licensed provider in your area.
