This episode discusses parental alcoholism, childhood emotional abuse, violence within the home, chronic stress and unhealthy relationships. Please listen with care. When does being busy become living in survival mode? And how can the coping mechanisms that once protected us eventually lead to burnout and self-abandonment? In this episode of AuDHD and Then Some,
Ellie speaks with Lolita Guarin, bestselling author, speaker, book coach and creator of the CALM Process. Lolita grew up in Lithuania during the Soviet era in a home affected by alcoholism, fear and emotional uncertainty. She shares how that environment shaped her anxiety, hypervigilance and desire for control, and how those survival patterns continued into adulthood after she moved to America.
Together, Ellie and Lolita explore: • The difference between ordinary stress and survival mode • How childhood environments shape our adult stress responses
• Why familiar patterns can feel safer than healthy change • Self-abandonment, boundaries and rebuilding self-trust
• Why people remain loyal to behaviours and relationships that hurt them
• The practical thinking behind Lolita’s CALM Process • Limiting what causes harm and multiplying what genuinely helps
• Turning painful experiences into writing, wisdom and purpose
• Finding the courage to honour our own needs This is a vulnerable, funny and deeply insightful conversation about recognising the patterns we have inherited, asking how they are still serving us and choosing not to abandon ourselves any longer.
Connect with Lolita and explore her work: Website: https://www.beamazingyou.com/ Book a personal session with Lolita: https://beamazingyou.lpages.co/book-a-session/
Follow AuDHD and Then Some on your preferred podcast platform for more honest conversations about neurodivergence, trauma, recovery and the complicated reality of being human. :::
