What if there were ways to spot potential warning signs before a relationship causes lasting damage?
In this episode, Ellie sits down with Justin Smith, founder of Cray, a dating safety app created following his own experience of an eight-year relationship that he describes as emotionally abusive and deeply traumatic.
Justin shares the story behind Cray, how his experiences affected his physical and emotional wellbeing, and why rebuilding his life led him to create a tool designed to help others think more carefully about red flags, manipulation and relationship safety.
But this isn't simply a conversation about an app.
Ellie asks some challenging questions along the way. Who decides what counts as a red flag? Can something considered unhealthy in one relationship be completely acceptable in another? How much does circumstance matter? And how do we make sure our own experiences don't become the standard by which everybody else's relationships are judged?
Justin openly explains his thinking and the reasoning behind Cray, while Ellie offers alternative perspectives and questions some of the broader assumptions surrounding relationships, dating and modern culture.
They discuss:
How childhood experiences can influence adult relationships
Recognising potential warning signs and manipulative behaviour
Why context matters when discussing relationship red flags
Justin's experience of rebuilding after relationship trauma
How Cray's scoring and safety features work
Online dating, catfishing and AI
The difference between personal boundaries and universal red flags
Why Justin believes education around dating safety needs to start earlier
Cray's work with colleges and students
Whether technology can really help us make safer relationship decisions
It's an open, sometimes challenging and thought-provoking conversation in which host and guest don't automatically agree on everything, and that's exactly what makes the discussion interesting.
Whether you're navigating online dating, rebuilding after a difficult relationship, or simply interested in how we decide what healthy relationships actually look like, this episode offers plenty to think about.
Find out more about Cray at cray.app or search “Cray – Dating Safety” in the Apple App Store or Google Play Store.
