Why do so many survivors know something is wrong and still abandon their own needs, intuition, and boundaries? Jessica Anne Pressler is a therapist, a hospice social worker, and the creator of the Traitor Within Framework. She calls that part of you "the traitor within." It's the part that learned in childhood that keeping the peace, avoiding rejection, and earning love was the safest way to live.
In this conversation, Jessica explains:
- how those childhood coping patterns follow us into adult relationships
- how narcissists study them and use them against us
- why this part of us deserves compassion instead of shame
She talks openly about her own relationships, how she eventually saw her pattern, and the small, practical steps that help rewire it. Those include setting small boundaries, building a life outside the relationship, and seeing each attempt to leave as practice rather than failure.
ABOUT JESSICA
Jessica Anne Pressler, LCSW, is a Columbia University-trained psychotherapist and author with four decades of experience helping people heal from narcissistic abuse, trauma, and grief. She is the creator of the Traitor Within framework and author of two books: Traitor Within, a debut novel that weaves healing tools into one woman's journey of overcoming trauma, and Your Traitor Within Journal, a year-long guide of journaling prompts designed to help readers unpack their own inner critic and patterns of self-sabotage, day by day. She is also the host of the Your Traitor Within podcast, featuring weekly candid conversations with guests who share their own stories of the inner voice that holds them back.
CONNECT WITH JESSICA
👉 https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/traitor-within-jessica-anne-pressler/1150743194?ean=9781665797030
👉 https://www.amazon.com/Traitor-Within-Abandonment-Abandon-Herself/dp/1665797053/ref=sr_1_15?crid=1FU20MSDO0Z99&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.OdpSsSO7lKeZEIHpXYKc6JVGrrsv9dfDBh3j_ALqygYb5ddS6jNkUFrkcUM5Emy-p81jVGwKrOSEJfrhXf_-PEHybGm9dHzA38dsXlWURM7x50egXnhMbIMgXm8-AKYdCWQxxk_ZgWrZ-YGYyE3y2TnI0h41zBmTSHymD2gBmFt8SygH57Rj1QusjXWrQhc-dKAM_n99RMr5igvvyxxAFv5l4EW5LAVtFBANFW4hDJQ.CzlbbgZKOFsF6Y6sCC0-erPGW7zLhlzG4--vXgyD_pM&dib_tag=se&keywords=Traitor+Within&qid=1783973111&sprefix=%2Caps%2C4666&sr=8-15
👉 https://www.instagram.com/jessicaannepressler
👉 https://www.facebook.com/jessica.anne.pressler.2025/
👉 https://www.tiktok.com/@jessicaannepressler0
👉 https://www.youtube.com/@yourtraitorwithin
ABOUT CHELSEY
Chelsey Brooke Cole is a licensed psychotherapist and Certified Partner Trauma Therapist helping you learn to trust yourself again after narcissistic abuse. She is the bestselling author of If Only I'd Known! and host of the Restoring Resilience podcast. Her work has been featured in USA Today, HuffPost, Psychology Today, and other media outlets.
For those looking for deeper support, Chelsey works with survivors through 1:1 therapy and Rewired for Resilience: Reclaiming Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse. The program offers a structured healing process with direct access to Chelsey, weekly support groups, and ongoing community support. Visit www.chelseybrookecole.com to learn more about working with Chelsey, Rewired for Resilience, and her other resources.
Chelsey's Resources
If this episode resonated with you, here are a few ways to go deeper:
Free Masterclass: The Narcissist's Playbook
Understand the exact patterns narcissists use—and why it's so hard to see clearly when you're in it
👉 https://www.chelseybrookecole.com/the-narcissists-playbook/
Free Quizzes: Is It Narcissistic Abuse? Not sure what you're dealing with? Take a free 2-minute quiz to get clarity now
👉 https://www.chelseybrookecole.com/quizzes/
Rewired for Resilience (Healing Program)
Go beyond awareness and start rebuilding self-trust, emotional safety, and clarity from the inside out
👉 https://www.chelseybrookecole.com/rewired-for-resilience/
Read the First Chapter of My Book (Free)
👉 https://www.chelseybrookecole.com/firstchapterfree/
Website
👉 https://www.chelseybrookecole.com/
Chapters
(0:00) Introduction
(1:23) What is the Traitor Within?
(2:26) Childhood Origins
(8:23) Jessica's Personal Story
(14:10) Narcissists and the Traitor Within
(17:54) Healing and Compassion
(19:12) Practical Steps for Change
(21:37) Healthy Relationships Are Possible
(28:56) Jessica's Novel
(30:54) Closing
