In this episode of The Unshakeable Talks, Katy sits down with Leyanne, shadow coach and founder of Shadow to Sovereign, to talk about why people-pleasing is really a form of manipulation, and how shadow work turned her from someone who kept attracting narcissists into someone who now calls her clients out on their own bullsh*t daily. They get into boundaries in the early days of business, nervous system regulation, and why grounding yourself, even if that just means standing barefoot on your own doorstep, matters more than people think.
Key Takeaways:
People-pleasing is a form of manipulation.
Leyanne says she used to figure out what someone liked and ‘put that mask on,’ buying people gifts and doing things for them, not from generosity but so they'd never reject her. She's blunt about it: "that's a form of manipulation."
Only you can reject yourself.
Once Leyanne stopped fearing rejection and started finding love from within, she stopped needing everyone to like her. Her line for it: "it's okay, you don't like everybody, so don't expect everybody to like you."
There's a "good" version of manipulation too.
Leyanne distinguishes between manipulating people out of fear, and what she calls ethical manipulation: genuinely wanting good things for someone, like messaging Katy about the podcast because she wanted the exposure to work both ways, not just for herself.
In the early days, your boundaries are your moneymakers.
Leyanne describes opening her massage room at 8pm for a last-minute client message, saying "if you wouldn't have opened at 8pm the door, that client would have slipped out and never come back." Firm boundaries come later, once the business can afford them.
Grounding doesn't require hugging a tree, unless you want to.
Leyanne's Shadow to Sovereign membership runs on daily shadow work prompts, sound baths, tapping and human design, because she believes the deeper work only lands once you can ground yourself every day, even if that's just bare feet on your own paving slabs.
If you enjoyed this episode, you can connect with Leyanne on Instagram @iamthewellbeingwitch and also access her Shadow to Sovereign membership for free here.
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