Call Her Insecure: How Hookup Culture is Wrecking Your Attachment (feat. Attachment Expert Bev Mitelman)

Here's something nobody in the modern dating conversation wants to say out loud: Hookup culture isn't freedom. It's a trap. Especially for those of us with insecure attachments.

This week I'm joined by Bev Mitelman – Certified Relationship & Attachment Trauma Practitioner and founder of Securely Loved – for one of the most important conversations we've had on The Attachment Confessions. Bev brings 25+ years of clinical expertise AND her own lived experience with insecure attachment to unpack exactly why hookup culture and attachment healing are fundamentally at odds.

Y'all — a lot of us have told ourselves that keeping things casual is the safe option. That it protects us from getting hurt. That it's empowering. This episode is going to challenge that in the best possible way🙌

What we cover in this episode:

• What hookup culture actually is
• Why hookup culture is especially damaging for Anxious Preoccupied and Fearful Avoidant attachment styles — and what's happening in the nervous system
• The science of oxytocin — why the bonding hormone makes "no strings attached" nearly impossible
• How casual hookups reinforce your old emotional blueprint instead of helping you rewrite it
• Why using hookup culture to feel "in control" is actually one of the most common attachment self-sabotage patterns

This convo is going to hit close to home for a lot of us. And that's exactly why we needed to have it💜

💜 Ready to break your toxic relationship cycles for good? Check out Bev Mitelman's work at securelyloved.com

💜 Listeners of The Attachment Confessions get 10% off Dr. Sarah Hensley's attachment healing programs at thelovedoc.com — use code CHELSEA10 at checkout.   About Bev Mitelman, M.A.:

Bev is a Certified Relationship & Attachment Trauma Practitioner and Certified Menopause Specialist with 25+ years in personal growth. She helps people break toxic relationship cycles, rebuild self-worth, and communicate with confidence in love, parenting, and family life. As someone who grew up in an unpredictable, chaotic environment and absorbed deeply unhealthy relationship patterns as a result, Bev knows firsthand that you're not broken — you're following an old emotional blueprint that can be healed.

Related episodes:

• Anxious Attachment Explained: A Deep Dive into the Anxious Preoccupied
• Avoidant Attachment Explained: A Deep Dive into the Dismissive Avoidant
• Disorganized Attachment Explained: A Deep Dive into the Fearful Avoidant