What happens when you're meeting every expectation at work but have little energy left for your own life?
In this episode of Quietly Autistic at Last, Dr. Allison Sucamele explores the often-invisible challenges of work–life balance for late-diagnosed autistic adults and those with ADHD or AuDHD. From masking and sensory overload to autistic burnout, workplace accommodations, and the struggle to reclaim personal time, this conversation examines the difference between having free time and having the capacity to enjoy it.
Through research, personal reflections, and practical strategies, discover why genuine balance isn't simply about managing your schedule—it's about creating a sustainable life that leaves room for rest, creativity, connection, and joy.
Having enough energy to do your job shouldn't mean having none left to live your life.
References & Resources
Bargiela, S., Steward, R., & Mandy, W. (2016). The experiences of late-diagnosed women with autism spectrum conditions: An investigation of the female autism phenotype. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 46, 3281–3294. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-016-2872-8 Interviews with fourteen women explored missed recognition, camouflaging, and identity. This small qualitative sample does not represent every late-diagnosed adult.
National Institute of Mental Health. (n.d.). ADHD in adults: 4 things to know. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/adhd-what-you-need-to-know Official information on adult ADHD, missed childhood recognition, assessment, and treatment. Late diagnosis does not mean ADHD first began in adulthood.
Hull, L., Petrides, K. V., Allison, C., Smith, P., Baron-Cohen, S., Lai, M.-C., & Mandy, W. (2017). “Putting on my best normal”: Social camouflaging in adults with autism spectrum conditions. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 47, 2519–2534. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-017-3166-5 Qualitative accounts from ninety-two autistic adults describe camouflaging strategies, motivations, and perceived consequences. These findings do not establish causation or population rates.
Raymaker, D. M., Teo, A. R., Steckler, N. A., Lentz, B., Scharer, M., Delos Santos, A., Kapp, S. K., Hunter, M., Joyce, A., & Nicolaidis, C. (2020). “Having all of your internal resources exhausted beyond measure and being left with no clean-up crew”: Defining autistic burnout. Autism in Adulthood, 2(2), 132–143. https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2019.0079 Community-based exploratory research describing autistic burnout and participants’ perspectives on contributing conditions and recovery. It does not establish a diagnostic test or prove a particular treatment works.
Lauder, K., McDowall, A., & Tenenbaum, H. R. (2022). A systematic review of interventions to support adults with ADHD at work—Implications from the paucity of context-specific research for theory and practice. Frontiers in Psychology, 13, 893469. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.893469 Reviews interventions relevant to work and highlights limited research conducted in actual workplace settings. It does not specifically study work–life balance in late-diagnosed AuDHD adults.
Job Accommodation Network. (n.d.). Autism spectrum; Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Autism accommodation guidance ADHD accommodation guidance Practical accommodation options organized around functional difficulties. These resources offer guidance rather than evidence from clinical trials.
Job Accommodation Network:askjan.org Free, confidential guidance on workplace accommodations and the Americans with Disabilities Act in the United States.
National Institute of Mental Health:Adult ADHD information Information on assessment, treatment, and finding support.
CHADD:chadd.org ADHD education and resources through the National Resource Center on ADHD.
Attention Deficit Disorder Association:add.org Adult ADHD resources, including virtual support groups and a professional directory. Check current availability and fees.
Autistic Self Advocacy Network:autisticadvocacy.org Autistic-led advocacy and resources addressing autonomy, access, and inclusion.
Research note: This episode brings together qualitative autism research, an ADHD intervention review, and official clinical and accommodation resources. Research specifically examining work–life balance in late-diagnosed AuDHD adults remains limited. The suggested routines, capacity notes, and communication scripts are optional practical experiments rather than validated treatments.
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