If you've ever been told your standards are too high, that you're trying to change him, or that real love means accepting everything he does - this episode is going to name something you've been feeling for a long time but maybe couldn't say out loud.
Therapist, educator, and LCSW Aishia Grevenberg is back for her third conversation with me, and this time we're getting into why abusive men genuinely believe love should be unconditional - and why that belief has nothing to do with love. What they're really asking for isn't a partner. It's a mother. And once you understand the dominance dynamic underneath that demand, so much of what happened to you starts to make a different kind of sense.
We talk about why your needs feel like a threat to a man who needs control, the difference between pity and compassion and how men use one to keep you stuck, what love bombing actually does to a woman who grew up without a baseline for healthy love, and why having conditions in a relationship isn't selfish - it's the bare minimum. If someone has ever made you feel like your standards were the problem, this one will make you feel a lot less crazy and a lot less alone.
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