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You know what gaslighting is.
”You're too sensitive.” ”I was just joking.” ”That never happened.”
But there is a version of gaslighting that is much harder to name. It does not announce itself. It works slowly, through tone and framing and forgetfulness and calm. And by the time you notice it, you have already started doubting your own memory, your own perception, and your own mind.
Lisa sits down with Dr. Robin Stern, therapist, author, and co-founder of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, to go deep on the 5 covert tactics that most people never recognize as gaslighting.
Dr. Stern is clear that these tactics are not always conscious, but in the hands of someone who uses them consistently, the effect is the same. You stop trusting yourself. You begin organizing your life around avoiding his reaction. You forget who you were before the confusion started.
Because sometimes the calmest person in the room is causing the most damage.
Resources mentioned:
- The Gaslight Effect by Dr. Robin Stern
- Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence
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