ADHD, Attention, and Why Orgasms Are Inconsistent

Around 20 to 30% of women struggle to orgasm during partnered sex. And while there are plenty of reasons that get talked about — relationship issues, technique, and types of sex — they don't necessarily explain why it's so inconsistent. Why sometimes you can come, sometimes you can't, and you can't for the life of you find the pattern.

This week, I dig into a recent study that points to a factor most of us are barely looking at — and it might just be the missing piece.

We explore:

• Why coming during partnered sex can be so inconsistent — and what the latest research can tell us about it
• The surprising difference between inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive ADHD when it comes to orgasmic consistency
• Why orgasm requires sustained attention, and how our culture trains us out of the exact thing sex needs us to do
• The link between neurodivergence and kink — and what it tells us about staying present during sex
• Concrete, science-backed ways to increase orgasm consistency during sex with a partner, ADHD symptoms or not

Timestamps:

03:47 — What the research found about ADHD and orgasms

06:07 — Why your ADHD subtype matters for coming

08:43 — Why presence during sex is so hard

14:14 — How shame carries into the bedroom

16:55 — Practical ways to stay present during sex

17:46 — The surprising link between ADHD and kink

The study in this episode:

Exploring Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Symptomatology in Relation to Women's Orgasmic Consistency

Published in the Journal of Sex Research by Jensen-Fogt and Pedersen.

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