I wanted a formula for a better marriage. Ken Blackman basically told me that was the problem.
After more than 10 years of coaching Serenity and me through our marriage, business, and parenting, including many very real breakdowns, Ken has seen the pattern clearly: I keep trying to replace presence with scripts.
If your relationship has felt different since having kids — harder to connect, easier to drift — this episode is for you. We get into why the old ways of showing up stop working after fatherhood, why trying to be the "good husband" or "good dad" can still leave you emotionally checked out, and why your partner is probably not the actual problem.
Ken also helped me tell the truth about something I hadn't talked about publicly before: the years I spent addictively numbing out when marriage, fatherhood, and business felt like too much all at once — and how close that took us to the edge.
The real work, it turns out, is not finding the right formula. It is learning to feel, to own your choices without resentment, and to build something with your partner that actually fits your family.
Inside this episode:
-
Why the perfect marriage formula does not exist
-
How fatherhood changes the emotional connection with your partner
-
Why resentment builds when dads say yes without owning the choice
-
How to stop numbing and start feeling again
-
Why your partner is probably not the problem
-
How to co-create a relationship that gets better over time, not worse
Resources mentioned
Other episodes:
Keep the Spark Alive https://youtu.be/j0MvVRe3Vng
Enhance your Relationship with your Wife and Yourself after baby with Scott Wild https://youtu.be/3y7NnwqNTRE
Reel: https://riverside.com/shared/exported-clip/6272cd4099370c81176d
12 years in, my and Serenity's relationship is the BEST it's ever been. We run a successful business together, have an amazing daughter, and have ten times the connection and intimacy we had in the honeymoon phase.
We are proof that this is possible! But it was not easy! We could not have done any of it without the support of this man!
👉 Get 15% off your first Serenity Kids order with code: DADICATED15 https://myserenitykids.com/
Being Dadicated isn't about having all the answers.
It's about showing up.
It's about committing to the kind of dad—and man—you want to be, even when it's hard. Especially when it's hard.
Joe Carr is a dad to Della, husband to Serenity, co-founder of Serenity Kids baby food, and the voice behind Dadicated Joe.
Follow Joe Carr on social media
Instagram: @dadicatedjoe
TikTok: @dadicatedjoe
YouTube @dadicatedjoe
Ken Blackman is one of the BEST relationship coaches in the world. In this episode he shows us how the best formula for having a perfect marriage is that there is no formula! We have to throw out what we thought marriage was "supposed" to be and create the marriage that works for us.
The good news is that finding the right person is only 14% of the battle. So it's overwhelmingly likely that you already have a person who works; the rest is doing the work.
Learn more about how you could have a thriving relationship like mine on this week's episode: The Formula for Perfect Marriage After Kids with Relationship Coach Ken Blackman
