What do moms actually wish dads understood about pregnancy, postpartum, and becoming parents?
This time, we decided to stop answering for them.
In this episode of The Dudela Podcast, John and Michael are joined by their wives, Vivian and Abigail, for an honest conversation about pregnancy, postpartum, marriage, motherhood, careers, community, and what support from a husband actually looks like when life gets hard.
And there is some pretty big Dudela family news.
Michael and Abigail are expecting baby number two, another girl.
That means Dudela is officially going through another pregnancy in real time.
We talk about what this pregnancy has looked like so far, pregnancy nausea and food aversions, preparing for a second baby, and what Abigail needs from Michael during pregnancy that she does not always know how to ask for.
But this conversation goes much deeper than pregnancy.
Viv opens up about how difficult the postpartum season was after having twins and what it felt like to lose part of herself during those early months of motherhood. She shares why patience, grace, friendship, and having people around her mattered so much while she figured out who she was becoming.
Abigail shares what it is like balancing motherhood with a career she genuinely loves, the guilt that can come with being a working mom, and why having a husband who encourages her career instead of making her feel guilty about it has mattered so much.
We also get into something every expecting dad needs to hear.
Your wife may not always be able to tell you exactly what she needs.
Sometimes supporting her means paying attention.
Take the baby.
Handle bath time.
Figure out dinner.
Give her permission to rest.
Encourage her to spend time with friends.
Make the decision she is too exhausted to make.
Create room for the parts of her identity that exist outside of being a mom.
And during postpartum, understand that the woman beside you is experiencing one of the biggest physical, hormonal, emotional, and identity changes of her life.
She may not seem exactly like the woman you married for a while.
That does not mean something has gone wrong.
She is becoming someone new too.
This conversation is about learning how to become parents together, how to build a village around your family, and how husbands and wives can give each other grace while everyone figures it out.
Whether you are trying for a baby, expecting your first, preparing for the fourth trimester, or already deep in toddler life, there is something in this conversation for you.
In This Episode
• Michael and Abigail announce baby number two
• What this pregnancy has actually been like so far
• Pregnancy nausea, exhaustion, and food aversions
• Preparing for a second baby versus preparing for your first
• What pregnant wives actually need from their husbands
• Why your wife may struggle to ask you for help
• Learning to anticipate your partner's needs
• Why decision fatigue is so real for moms
• Giving your wife permission to rest without guilt
• What dads need to understand about the postpartum season
• Giving your wife grace during the fourth trimester
• What it feels like when your spouse does not seem like herself after baby
• Postpartum identity changes and becoming a mom
• Supporting your wife's career after having kids
• Working mom guilt and balancing career with motherhood
• Why friendships and community matter so much after having kids
• Building your village before you desperately need one
• Why parenting alongside friends makes the hard seasons easier
• Understanding that toddler behavior is communication
• How dads can respond differently to tantrums and difficult behavior
• Why your child's behavior is not always about you
• Creating meaningful family moments out of ordinary days
• Learning your strengths as a mom and dad
• Becoming a team instead of keeping score
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This episode is for you.
Meet the Wives
For this episode, we handed part of the microphones over to the women who have been beside Dudela from the beginning.
Abigail is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst with a background in Applied Behavior Analysis. She works with children on developmental skills, communication, behavior, and helping families understand why behaviors happen in the first place.
One of her biggest reminders for dads in this episode is simple:
Behavior is communication.
When your toddler is screaming, hitting, melting down, or doing something that drives you insane, it is easy to take that behavior personally.
But your child may simply be trying to communicate something they do not yet have the language or skills to express.
Vivian is a mom of twins, entrepreneur, and wedding planner behind The Alpenglow Edit. Her love for creating meaningful moments has carried directly into motherhood and the way she and John intentionally create traditions, adventures, and memories with their girls.
She also gets honest about the harder side of becoming a mom, including the postpartum season and eventually finding parts of herself again through starting her business.
Together, they give us something we want more of on Dudela:
The mom's side of the story.
The Womb Watch Is Coming
With Michael and Abigail expecting their second daughter, we have been documenting this pregnancy behind the scenes.
The Womb Watch follows their pregnancy in real time through appointments, conversations, questions, preparation, and Michael figuring out what it means to go through pregnancy as a dad for the second time.
The Womb Watch is exclusive content for members of the Spit Up Society.
Join the Spit Up Society
The podcast is where we talk about fatherhood.
The Spit Up Society is where we get to talk with you.
For $5 per month, you get access to two live Dudela Q&A calls every month, The Womb Watch, exclusive content, behind the scenes conversations, early access to Dudela resources, and a community of dads figuring this stuff out together.
Our live calls happen on the first Tuesday and third Thursday of every month.
Bring your questions about pregnancy, birth, postpartum, newborn life, marriage, finances, fatherhood, or whatever you are dealing with right now.
Can't make the live call? Members get access to the recordings too.
Join the Spit Up Society here:
https://thedudelaco.com/join/spit-up-society/
Free Dad Prep Guide
Preparing for your first baby?
Start here:
https://www.thedudelaco.com/guide
Our free Dad Prep Guide gives expecting dads practical advice for pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and becoming a father.
Dudela Prep Kit
Want to go deeper?
https://dudelaco.gumroad.com/l/dudela-prep-kit
The Dudela Prep Kit is our complete roadmap for first time dads preparing for labor, delivery, postpartum, and life with a newborn.
It includes 33 pages, 6 pillars, and 9 printable tools designed to help you stop wondering what you should be doing and start preparing for what comes next.
Ask Dudela
Have a question you want us to answer?
Maybe your wife is pregnant and you have no idea what she needs.
Maybe you are struggling through the newborn stage.
Maybe your toddler is losing their mind and you cannot figure out why.
Maybe you just need another dad's perspective.
Leave us a voicemail directly through the Dudela website. We listen to every message and may answer yours on the podcast or during one of our live conversations.
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Your Challenge This Week
Ask your wife one question:
What is one thing I could take completely off your plate this week?
Then listen.
And if you already know the answer, do not make her manage you through it.
Take the kids.
Make dinner.
Handle bedtime.
Clean the kitchen.
Give her an hour alone.
Make the decision.
Whatever it is, own it from beginning to end.
Being a steady dad is not always about knowing exactly what to say.
Sometimes it is simply noticing what your family needs and showing up before someone has to ask.
