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Two weeks after the last argument, you are having it again. Different trigger, same fight, same ending. In this episode, Alastair explains why the argument was never about the thing you were arguing about, and shows you the pattern running underneath it.
If you keep having the same fight in different clothes, if your partner goes quiet and withdraws after you have spoken to them, or if your kids tiptoe around you after a row, you will recognise this pattern.
You will learn the three roles people fall into when conflict starts: the persecutor who blames and criticises, the victim who feels powerless and deflects responsibility, and the rescuer who smooths things over and stops the real issue being addressed.
The pattern has a name, the Drama Triangle. The part most people miss is that nobody stays in one role. Alastair walks through one argument over a burnt dinner where a husband and wife switch through all three roles in minutes, and both go to bed feeling like the victim. He also gives you the one question that starts to break the cycle: not what role were they in, but what role was I in?
The Anger Management Podcast helps men and women master anger management, improve healthy conflict resolution, repair relationships after arguments, and create calmer, happier homes.
Hosted by anger specialist Alastair Duhs, creator of The Complete Anger Management System.
