You've told yourself that this time you won't let it get to you, and somehow you still leave the conversation feeling defeated and distraught, wondering why you can't just let things go.
When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, you learn to brace for the mean comments, the cruelty, the digs that come out of nowhere.
And you work hard to get to a place of radical acceptance- acknowledging who your parent is and what you're likely to experience in your relationship with them. So shouldn't those realistic expectations of your parent come with less emotional distress when they do the toxic thing you're expecting them to do?
Not exactly.
In this episode you'll learn:
- Why a negative emotional reaction to your parent's behavior is healthy and important
- The two things that tend to happen when you successfully lower your reactivity (and why neither is where you want to be)
- Your emotional reaction reframed as data that can inform your boundaries
- The nuanced, gray-area questions to ask yourself to create a reality that leaves you feeling less defeated and depleted
If you're desperate to feel less emotionally consumed by the interactions with your parent, this episode is for you.
Ready to go deeper?
The Cycle Breaker's Vault is Torie's self-guided course for the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic traits. It covers dysfunctional family dynamics, boundaries, manipulation, grief, and reconnecting with yourself.
Learn more and get started: confidentboundaries.com/vault
Follow Torie on Instagram: @cyclebreakertherapist
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Want the more episodes of You're Not Crazy? Join The Private Feed for access to bonus and ad-free episodes plus the full archive: confidentboundaries.com/private
Free guide: 10 Boundary Mistakes That Keep You Stuck
If your boundaries keep blowing up or leaving you drowning in guilt, it's usually not you. Learn what problems actually get in the way of setting successful boundaries with toxic parents by downloading my free guide: confidentboundaries.com/opt-in
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Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.
You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.
