Janet Porter's war-on-Christmas sitcom builds a whole episode around an HOA fining her nativity scene, and none of it happens in real life.
What a Girl Wants ran one season on the Christian Broadcasting Network, and its eighth episode stacks every persecution fantasy at once: a homeowners association head who answers Merry Christmas with happy holidays, a $50 violation notice for a manger on the lawn, and a ten-minute dream sequence where a man named Jeffrey watches his own birthday party hand out presents to everyone but him so viewers feel how Jesus supposedly feels. Jesus then walks into the frame to explain the metaphor, in case the smiley faces did not land. Janet Porter, the lawyer who wrote the first heartbeat bill, cast herself opposite a boyfriend who keeps dodging her invitations and tries to bar her from his office Christmas party. Mat Staver of Liberty Counsel turns up twice: once defending the nativity display for free, and once relaying secondhand tales of unvaccinated women bleeding after standing near vaccinated relatives. Janice's claim that the Soviet Union coined "politically correct" collapses against the record — Justice James Wilson used the phrase in Chisholm v. Georgia in 1793, and The New York Times applied it to Nazi press policy in 1934. The Hotze Health and Wellness Center and the Timothy Plan bankroll the whole thing between scenes. Subscribe for more of this.
0:22 - Reviewing the Christian Broadcasting Network sitcom What a Girl Wants and its war-on-Christmas episode 6:55 - Michael's family Christmas card and the church-on-Christmas argument 10:22 - Michael bars Janet from his office Christmas party until the guests shame him 15:59 - Janet Porter's neighbor Jeff, the homeowners association head, and the nativity scene plan 19:53 - Steve Hotze's health and wellness center ad interrupts the show 20:56 - The Christmas movie dream sequence where Jesus is ignored on his birthday, plus a Good Will Hunting detour 27:50 - Jeff's dream ends with Jesus appearing and the "Jesus-mess" Christmas lesson 40:00 - The Timothy Plan "biblically responsible investing" ad and a usury joke 41:43 - Neighbor Hal's Hanukkah greeting, the HOA nativity feud, and Michael's "Merry Christmas Snowflakes" Trump shirt 44:52 - Karen's HOA phone threat over the nativity scene and the "Communist Karen" office Christmas party 50:58 - Mat Staver's menstrual-cycle vaccine "shedding" claims and Liberty Counsel's free HOA defense 53:08 - Michael's office Christmas party, Candice mix-ups, and Janice's debunked "politically correct" Soviet origin claim 1:04:08 - A woman harasses a 15-year-old outside a mosque, claiming freedom of religion but a Christian country 1:10:14 - MAGA callers: a 32-year Trump dynasty and votes beamed to satellites and back as Biden's
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