In This Body
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The Body Beneath People Pleasing with Heidi Stokes

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What happens when you learn to read everyone else before you learn to read yourself?

In this episode, Ailey sits down with registered clinical counsellor and yoga therapist, Heidi Stokes, to explore how the nervous system shapes our experience of safety. Together, they look at how easily we can become focused on reading the room while losing touch with what is happening inside our own bodies.

Heidi shares how patterns like people pleasing can develop as ways of staying connected and protected. The conversation explores what it takes to turn our attention inward again, especially when insight has not been enough to create meaningful change.

Ailey and Heidi also discuss why trauma healing requires patience and why feeling safe with another person can be an important part of learning to feel safe within ourselves. Rather than pushing the body toward change, they consider what becomes possible when healing moves at a pace the nervous system can actually hold.

If you have ever struggled to know what you feel or found yourself paying more attention to everyone else than to yourself, this conversation offers a gentler way back to your body.

In this episode:

  • 3:25 What Being In Your Body Means
  • 6:00 Women Trained To Leave The Body
  • 11:27 Somatic Therapy Versus Talk Therapy
  • 22:16 What Yoga Therapy Looks Like
  • 27:24 Trauma Disclosure And Building Safety
  • 35:37 The Harm Of Going Too Fast
  • 40:57 Co-Regulation Before Self-Regulation
  • 48:59 Self-Regulation As A Gentle Choice
  • 57:16 When Talk Therapy Is Not Shifting
  • 1:00:00 Closing Invitation To Rest And Validate

You can read the full transcript here.

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