Most people fantasise about being with someone other than their partner. That’s normal. The question is what you do with it.
In this episode, we get into one of the most common — and least talked-about — sexual fantasies: desiring variety in sexual partners.
We cover what ENM (Ethical Non-Monogamy) looks like in practice – with all its various flavours - and how monogamous couples can safely explore this territory without anyone doing anything with anybody else. This is one of the many things that become possible when you learn to share fantasies with each other.
We also end up in a surprisingly good conversation about "having a type" — where it comes from, why biology explains far less of it than you'd expect, and what you might be missing out on if you keep yourself constrained to a rigid checklist of qualities to tick off.
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CHAPTERS
00:00 E25 Non-monogamy fantasy - having variety
01:25 Partners variety (ENM) is amongst the most common sexual fantasies
03:59 ENM structures: dating separately
04:32 ENM structures: dating together as a couple >> shared experience
05:08 ENM structures: polyamory
05:19 Fantasies as a tool to explore ENM for monogamous couples
07:15 Chiara's Free Live Workshop
08:32 Why variety is important
09:24 Is "having a type" blocking or expanding your relationship potential?
12:16 Why do we have "a type"?
15:31 Become aware of your own conditioning to access a wider dating pool
18:57 Awareness is key
25:20 Listen to your dreams
Curious about better expressing and making your sexual fantasies happen? Don’t miss these episodes:
>> E19 | Threesome fantasy? How to talk to your partner about it (and make it happen) – Listen on Apple or Spotify
>> E22 | How to share secret sexual desires and why we're turned on by taboos – Listen on Apple or Spotify
>> E23 What's Really Cockblocking Your Wildest Fantasies (And How To Stop That) – Listen on Apple or Spotify
>> E24 Why Suppressing Your Fantasies Is Counter Productive – Listen on Apple or Spotify
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FREE RESOURCES:
- Download our popular guide 10 Prompts For Deeper Conversations With Your Partner
- Meet your mother’s worst enemy at her next LIVE online workshop - free on zoom, with limited seats only
Chiara Hardie is an intimacy coach who shows you how to stop giving a damn about what anyone thinks.
She helps you find the confidence and freedom to express what you didn't dare tell your partner — and you stop performing to get love, intimacy and affection.
