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I saw a scene recently that I haven't been able to shake.
And I'm going to be honest with you right up front. I don't remember what I was watching. I don't know if it was a movie or a show. I couldn't tell you the title if you paid me. But I remember the scene. Because it stopped me in my tracks.
There's this couple. They're older. Successful. You can tell just by looking at them that they've built a really comfortable life together. Nice house. Nice things. He's got that distinguished gray hair. She's got a short blonde bob. They look like the kind of couple who has it all figured out.
And she's standing in the kitchen, and she's telling him she's done.
She's done parenting everybody.
The kids. The dog. And him.
She reminds him of what he promised her all those years ago. That he would work hard and provide a good life, so that one day they could actually enjoy it. Together.
And here's the thing. He did provide that life. He kept that part of the promise.
But he's still gone. Still working. Still operating like nothing has changed. Like they're still in the building years, when she thought they'd finally made it to the enjoying years.
And she's done waiting.
I watched that and I thought, I know so many women who feel exactly like that.
Not necessarily because they want to leave their marriages.
But because they genuinely don't know how to keep living in them the way they are.
And here's what I find so fascinating about that scene. She has reached the point where she's questioning whether she can stay married. And he may be standing there wondering what on earth just happened. Because from where he's standing, things have been pretty good.
So how does that happen? How do two people spend decades building a life together and end up experiencing that marriage so completely differently?
And maybe the question you're actually asking: how did the man I married become someone I can barely stand to be around?
That's what we're talking about today.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
https://www.jenniferroskamp.com/midlife-marriage-maps-walk-talk
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