Ever felt like you're two completely different people in love, desperately chasing someone one day and drafting the goodbye text the next?

In this episode of the Speak Honest Podcast, Jenn Noble breaks down Disorganized Attachment, the third stance in the August series on the four Attachment Stances. She calls it the Pendulum Swing Dance because it holds both the fear of abandonment and the fear of engulfment at the exact same time, which means there's no single direction to run in when the thing you want and the thing you're afraid of are the same thing. Jenn walks through the signature moves of this dance (the desperate pursuit, the sudden retreat, the emotional translator, relationship amnesia), shares a client story of a woman who lived this pattern through four breakups in two years, and explains where this wiring actually comes from and why a genuinely stable partner can feel more unsettling than familiar chaos.

You might want to listen if:

  • You swing between wanting someone close and needing them gone within the same day
  • You've been told you're "hot and cold" in relationships and don't fully understand why
  • You feel like two different people depending on how close a relationship gets
  • You push people away right before they can leave you
  • You've ever felt more unsettled by a stable partner than by an unpredictable one

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DISCLAIMER:  Speak Honest podcast content is informational, not professional or medical advice. Jenn is an ICF relationship coach, not a licensed therapist. Consult health professionals for specific concerns. Client opinions do not reflect Speak Honest’s stance. We aim for acc...

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Podden och tillhörande omslagsbild på den här sidan tillhör Jennifer Noble, PCC | Relationship Coach, TEDx Speaker, & Best Selling Author. Innehållet i podden är skapat av Jennifer Noble, PCC | Relationship Coach, TEDx Speaker, & Best Selling Author och inte av, eller tillsammans med, Poddtoppen.