Your child may never hear you say, “This food is bad” - and still learn that cake deserves a sigh, seconds require an excuse, or certain foods are better eaten in private. In this episode of Emotional Eating Unwrapped, Alana Kessler explores how kids absorb food and body beliefs through tone, tension, facial expressions, secrecy, and the way adults eat when they think no one is watching. The better question may not be, “What have I said to my child about food?” but “What has my child watched happen around food?”
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Chapters:
00:00 - Kids Notice Your Reactions to Food
00:17 - How Subliminal Food Messages Form
01:45 - Where Unspoken Food Rules Come From
03:20 - Kids Learn Food Rules by Watching
05:35 - The Small Food Messages That Stick
07:35 - Kids Watch Tone, Tension and Judgment
09:45 - When “No Food Rules” Hides Secret Eating
11:35 - What Secret Eating Teaches Kids
14:25 - Food Lessons Happen Every Day
16:00 - Same Meal, Different Food Beliefs
19:27 - What Has Your Child Watched?
21:30 - Your Behavior Around Food Matters
22:40 - Modeling More Ease Around Eating
24:05 - Changing Deep-Rooted Food Patterns
Takeaways
⦿ Ask a woman what was said about food when she was growing up and she’ll often say nothing at all. Ask what she remembers about the table, and she can name six rules in a row without pausing.
⦿ A mom can be completely honest that food is never a big deal at her table and still be the only person in the house who knows where the chips are.
⦿ Kids don’t know that what they’re watching is off. They just file it away as what eating is supposed to look like.
⦿ Two kids can sit at the same table and be offered the same plate of food, and walk out having learned two completely different things.
⦿ “Did I ever say anything harmful to my kid about food?” is not the most useful question a mother can ask herself. There’s a better one, and it changes what you’re even looking for.
