Om Rupani is back for his second round on Heart of Man...
And today, I'm very excited to address this exact topic with him through his background in BDSM, which I see is very prevalent in the lives of many men:
Nice Guy Syndrome.
When I completed his seven day BDSM Fundamentals training last year, it was a transformative experience for me, and one of the first things I recognised was how powerful it was to resolve any remaining remnants of myself still navigating the Nice Guy Mask.
On the podcast, we've had Dr. Robert Glover, who wrote the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy," on the show twice. But today, we'll have the opportunity to look at this through the lens of someone who supports individuals every day to become better leaders through the medium of BDSM, which I see offers him a unique perspective.
For those who need a refresher:
Om Rupani is a teacher, author, and speaker who's been teaching about BDSM, polarity, and man–woman relating for almost 2 decades.
He's also the author of Prerequisites to Ecstasy, a no-nonsense guide exploring what it truly takes to create the love and intimacy we say we want.
Today, his work focuses on helping men embody their masculinity with confidence and depth, supporting women in cultivating passionate, harmonious relationships with their men, and guiding singles and couples to consciously integrate elements of BDSM into their intimacy.
In this conversation, Om and I explore:
- What the Nice Guy persona is, and why it functions as a mask to control how others see you
- How it forms through the mother wound and the absence of strong fathers
- Why physical training alone misses the point, and what actually dissolves this pattern
- The distinction between domineering and dominant, and what genuine leadership requires
- Why BDSM is the clearest way Om knows to teach containment
- The three categories of dominance and submission
- Why a woman will only surrender to a man whose leadership genuinely improves her life
- Learning to be at peace with who you are, and letting people see you
I thoroughly enjoyed this conversation with Om and this work touchrs directly on what so many men don't recognize they're carrying:
the identity they feel required to uphold in order to be seen as worthy, feel safe, and get their needs met.
Please note this conversation might be triggering to some of you, as this work was initially with me.
Whether you agree or not, my encouragement is to stay open and notice what arises within you.
Over time, that very approach has supported me in discovering deeper truth about what I value, what I care about, and who I am.
This episode is for anyone who's spent years performing goodness while quietly suppressing who they actually are, and who is ready to stop letting the fear of disapproval run their life.
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Connect with Alex Lehmann:
🌐 Website: https://www.alexlehmann.co/
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexlehmann_/
🎥 Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@heartofmanpodcast
💼 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/alexlehmann-hom
🎧 Listen to this conversation on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heart-of-man/id1697289478
✉️ Email: alexlehmanncoaching@gmail.com
🤝Think we might be a good fit to work together? Let’s find out & schedule a free connection call (two spots available at present time): https://ahb8n7i1908.typeform.com/to/ddTCwpJP
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Connect with Om Rupani:
🌐Learn more about Om's upcoming retreat: https://omrupani.org/#/dscouples/
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/omrupani1
🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/OmRupani
🎧 Listen to Om's Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/66UofO9yMSCIm5AyyXg4yO?si=5e085ac13b9e4b30
📕 Read Om's Book "Prerequisites to Ecstasy": https://www.amazon.com/Prerequisites-Ecstasy-No-Nonsense-Really-Create/dp/1521533768
🔥 Episodes you might enjoy:
Om Rupani: What BDSM Can Teach Us About Becoming Better Leaders | EP 59: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3cXc0zMCrJQnvCZvDhiJ3E
