What if changing your relationship with alcohol, breaking unhealthy habits, or overcoming all-or-nothing thinking wasn't about having more willpower? In this episode of Successful with ADHD, I'm welcoming back Colleen Hackman, ADHD coach, host of It's Not About the Alcohol, and known as The Hangover Whisperer. We're diving deeper into how the ADHD brain creates automatic habits, why black-and-white thinking can keep us stuck, and how emotional regulation and neuroplasticity can help us create lasting change without the shame spiral.
Colleen and I get into everything from ADHD decision fatigue and addiction labels to nervous system regulation, impulsivity, and learning to trust ourselves again. We also explore why focusing on what we want MORE of instead of what we're trying to eliminate can completely shift our approach to personal growth. Whether you're navigating alcohol use, struggling with perfectionism, or simply tired of feeling like you're constantly fighting your ADHD brain, this conversation is packed with practical strategies and perspective shifts you won't want to miss!
Episode Highlights
[1:20] - Welcoming Colleen back and exploring the ADHD all-or-nothing brain.
[2:04] - Colleen's name change, reclaiming her identity, and embracing personal growth.
[2:54] - Why ADHD black-and-white thinking complicates our relationship with alcohol and addiction labels.
[6:37] - How binary thinking traps us into believing we only have two options.
[8:03] - Asking better questions and shifting from negative goals to what we actually want MORE of.
[10:03] - Why ADHD decision fatigue makes recognizing small wins and progress challenging.
[12:18] - Breaking down the difference between being "lazy" and having an ADHD brain that automates habits.
[14:19] - My personal experience with an unexpected substance use disorder label and changing drinking habits.
[16:02] - Why breaking automatic habits requires energy, awareness, and intentionality rather than more willpower.
[18:27] - Replacing negative goals with small, positive actions that support lasting behavior change.
[21:49] - Colleen's "low bar method," my 1% actions, and why tiny habits help regulate the nervous system.
[23:06] - Becoming your own source of comfort instead of relying on external coping mechanisms.
[25:19] - How to distinguish intuition from anxious impulses and recognize what your body actually needs.
[29:13] - Setting yourself up for success before impulsive behaviors take over.
[31:46] - ADHD hyperfocus, time blindness, external reminders, and creating friction to interrupt unhealthy patterns.
[35:55] - How Colleen challenged her own all-or-nothing identity during recovery.
[38:31] - Navigating divorce, burnout, stress, and the ongoing process of finding balance.
[41:48] - What emotional sobriety really means and how separating facts from feelings changes decision-making.
[45:41] - My AIR method: Acknowledge, Interrupt, and Redirect to regulate emotions and take action.
[46:48] - The smallest first step toward changing your relationship with alcohol without committing to sobriety.
[49:11] - Understanding how coping behaviors serve us and why awareness creates opportunities for change.
[49:29] - Where to connect with Colleen and find more ADHD and emotional sobriety resources.
Links & Resources
Colleen is the founder of Emotional Sobriety Coaching©, where she helps high-achieving professional women reduce alcohol consumption by 80% without relying on willpower or deprivation. Combining holistic and evidence-based strategies in neurophysiology, cognitive reframing, and spirituality, she helps women reprogram their minds and bodies so they actually prefer drinking in moderation.
After secretly struggling with Alcohol Use Disorder for over 20 years, Colleen discovered that the solution to overdrinking is to get happy, not sober. She's an Addiction and Recovery-Certified Master Life Coach with an MSc in Health Coaching, a BS in Biology and Chemistry Education, and certification as a Women's Functional and Integrative Health Professional.
@thehangoverwhisperer
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