Ruth Harris used to drink vodka for breakfast. She survived years of addiction, repeated attempts to get clean and sober, domestic violence and some of the darkest moments of her life. Eight years later, she is a recovering addict, entrepreneur and TEDx speaker who has dedicated her life to challenging the stigma around addiction and helping people understand recovery. Ruth takes us inside her lowest moments that finally changed everything: waking up surrounded by drug paraphernalia, completely alone, consumed by shame and feeling that she would rather not be here than continue living that way.
Ruth explains why a rock bottom moment was not necessarily the most catastrophic thing that happened to her, but the moment she experienced what she describes as spiritual bankruptcy. She had tried recovery before. She had stopped and started, made promises and relapsed. This time, something finally shifted.
We go back to Ruth’s childhood to understand what was happening underneath the addiction long before she picked up a drink or a drug. She describes feeling uncomfortable in her own skin, feeling like an alien around other people and becoming dependent on validation, intense relationships and being liked. She also reveals how controlling food became another way of trying to manage feelings she didn't know how to process.
Ruth speaks candidly about her relationship with alcohol, cocaine, crack, opiates and prescription drugs, and explains why she never really had a single drug of choice. We explore what substances initially gave her: confidence, connection, freedom from fear, guilt and shame, and the feeling that she had finally found somewhere she belonged. We then examine how that search for connection ultimately became isolation.
We discuss relapse in detail, including why Ruth repeatedly believed she could eventually drink normally and how she grieved alcohol and drugs almost like losing a relationship. She explains the moment she realised the substance itself wasn't the entire problem and that she had to confront her thinking, identity and behaviour.
Ruth also opens up about living with ADHD and bipolar disorder alongside addiction. She describes a mind that felt like a washing machine, constantly telling her she wasn't good enough. We explore self-medication, neurodiversity and the complicated relationship between ADHD, mental health and addiction.
Ruth explains why isolation was so destructive for her and why community became such a powerful part of her recovery. She talks openly about the role the 12 Steps, meetings, spirituality, prayer, meditation and other people played in helping her rebuild her life.
Then comes the plot twist: resilience and the unexpected strengths that can emerge from addiction and recovery. Ruth believes the determination, creativity, obsession and ability to solve problems that once fuelled her addiction can be redirected into something extraordinary in recovery.
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Topics -
0:00 Trailer & Intro
2:30 A rock bottom moment
5:20 Is there a spiritual rock bottom?
9:05 Codependency
11:50 The relationship of drugs & food
14:35 Alcohol, coke and crack
17:30 When does relapse start?
18:10 Addiction, bipolar & ADHD
27:00 Relapse
29:20 Thinking was the problem
31:30 Looking for LOVE
32:35 Why the 12 steps helped Ruth
36:50 Becoming nothing to become everything
38:20 Letting go
43:10 Humility & recovery
45:05 Transforming the energy of addiction
48:50 Hardships shape resilience
53:20 Hold your head high!
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Website - https://www.ruthharrismethod.com
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Ted Talk - https://tinyurl.com/4cxzwy6s
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