We wrap up our NEW STUFF SHOWCASE with the only movie in the bunch that didn’t hit that box office mark. We don’t mean to rub it in but maybe 80’s nostalgia has its ceiling. We caught MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE on a freshly dropped stream just six weeks after its theatrical release. Mattel cashed in huge with Barbie so now Prince Adam gets the treatment. In fact, they stick him in a soul sucking HR job daydreaming about some insane fantasy land from his childhood. Sound familiar? That’s you, man. He’s you. You fucking loved He-Man so much and you used to play with the toys and pretended you were kicking it with Man-At-Arms, fighting Beast Man and making out with Orko. But here you are at your humdrum job with nothing left but cartoon landscapes in your mind. Can’t afford a house despite making 3x what your parents made growing up. How is this shitty burger twenty-five bucks? Straight of Hormuz? How about sending me to the Straight of He-Manz over in Eternia so I can get away from this dipshit life. Goddammit just let me be a Smurf, a Snork, a Gummy bear…ANYTHING! HELP ME!
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