In this episode of Sex For Couples, Heather Shannon talks with relationship coach Ally Iseman about non-monogamy, consensual open relationships, and how to build a sex life and relationship that's designed on purpose instead of running on autopilot. They get into why exclusivity and commitment aren't the same thing, why jealousy shows up in monogamous relationships too, and how monogamous couples can borrow the same tools non-monogamous couples use to keep things exciting.
Ally is the founder of Passport to Pleasure, offering relationship coaching and curated travel experiences for couples who want to have the conversations they don't get to have anywhere else. She and Heather talk about relationship scripts, the difference between fantasy and desire, why living together or splitting things a certain way isn't required for commitment, and why curiosity — not effort — is the real antidote to a stuck sex life.
In this episode:
Why exclusivity and commitment are not the same thing
Jealousy is an emotional experience, not a character trait — and it shows up in monogamous relationships too
The difference between a fantasy and a desire, and why you can share one without acting on it
How "relationship scripts" (living together, marriage, monogamy by default) keep couples from designing what actually works for them
Why avoiding a hard conversation with your partner is still a choice, not neutral
How non-monogamous couples build novelty and variety — and how monogamous couples can borrow the same tools
Why your sex life is supposed to change over time, and what that means for your relationship
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