Why does one friendship feel effortless while another feels tense, draining, or rigid?
In this episode, I’m diving into a concept I think about constantly: friendship culture. The unspoken norms, expectations, habits, and “rules” that shape how our relationships function.
From how you split the dinner bill to who initiates plans, what topics feel safe to discuss, or whether partners are included in hangouts — every friendship develops its own culture over time. And most of the time, nobody consciously decides on any of it.
I’m sharing my hot takes on how friendship cultures form, why they can start to feel restrictive or misaligned as we grow, and how to shift the dynamic without immediately blowing up the relationship.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
How life transitions like parenting, finances, health, or relationships naturally shift friendship dynamics
Why the same person can show up completely differently across different friendships and friend groups
Questions to ask yourself to identify which friendship cultures actually feel good, supportive, and natural to you
How small “nudges” can slowly reshape friendship culture without forcing a dramatic confrontation
This episode is sponsored by Slowly, a digital pen pal app used by over 10 million people worldwide. If you’ve been looking for a low-pressure way to connect with someone completely outside your normal friendship circle, this is it. Exchange letters at your own pace, no small talk panic required.
My book, Are We Friends Yet? hits shelves June 16. Get on the waitlist for pre-order bonuses + a first look.
Dive into The Connection Reset. A 10-day private podcast to help you see the abundance of connection that already exists in your day-to-day (Yes. Really. I promise you have more than you realize). Start today.
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